“My girlfriend and I are planning to have a baby in the university"

17:00 - 04 May 2016

Her parents say I’m too young for her and they want her to date a much older man

Hi Bukky,

I have been in a relationship with a girl for a year now but she’s older than I am and this is causing a problem between her and her parents.

Her parents say I’m too young for her and they want her to date a much older man. I gave her a promise ring as a sign of my love and for her to know that I’ll be spending the rest of my life with her.

My fear is that my girlfriend will never choose me over her family and I’ll end up losing her. We are planning to have a child in our third year in the university but I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.

Please advise me.

Simeon.

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Hello Simeon,

Thank you for sharing this issue with me.

Relationships are filled with many ups and downs but a commitment to make it work is what makes a relationship different from others that don’t last.

Age in this part of the world is definitely a factor considered by parents so what you are experiencing isn’t new. What will make you different is the level of maturity you display in this situation.

How well do you know her parents? Do you carry yourself maturely when you are with her? Does she see your age difference as a problem?

You may be really young and in the university right now but it doesn’t mean you can’t make your intentions known to her parents. The truth is giving her a promise ring doesn’t mean a thing. It’s a pledge of commitment and not marriage which means she can always walk away.

Also, trying to have a baby in the university is a wrong move, it’ll not only anger her parents but it’s bound to destroy the relationship you’ve built when serious pressure mounts. A baby is a huge responsibility which shouldn’t be taken lightly, they are blessings but it all depends on the time at which you have them.

Think about your decisions carefully before you make a move.