Lockdown Chronicles: The single man calmly navigating the loneliest Ramadan of his life

Four days before Ramadan began, I reached out to one of my guys for a different but related reason, and somehow the conversation shifted to the impending arrival of Ramadan, something I had not even known about, at the beginning of the phone call. Even though I am not a Muslim and will not be partaking of the 30-day exercise, it was obvious from our conversation that this was going to be a very, very unusual. Ramadan; an unprecedented one with quite a number of uncertainties such as: 'how would it feel to not be able to gather for Ramadan lectures at night?' and 'how would the lack of daily communion feel when Ramadan was exactly about that and other similar things?' Or more importantly, how would Ileya celebration actually look like? and how will the whole month go now that we are facing the uncertainty of this coronavirus period?

Well, this is what he has to say about all that:

“Ramadan is about to start. Do you understand? Ideally. Muslims go out for lectures in the evenings, the mosques are swarming with people, do you get? The mosque is always full. It’s so cool that food will be outside, that kine thing. But now it’s going to be hectic.

"This will be the first empty Ramadan of my entire life. Again, I think one of the factors is human beings. That mentality of brotherhood and sisterhood… keeps us accountable. For example now, you might decide you don’t want to go to the [mosque] but you decide to go because of someone that’s there. It is not hypocrisy. It is just a sense of community and knowing that if I don’t go this person will look for me, that kind of thing.

"People call it hypocrisy but it’s not. It’s just a sense of community. It’s like half the time we are doing our work, we are doing it because we know our Oga is checking."

So in short, the communion of people is a key thing that'll be missing from 2020 Ramadan

"Yeah. For many people it’s going to be a lonely Ramadan. Because for many people, this Ramadan thing is… in the morning, everybody is waking up to eat but look at me now, I am isolating alone which is what is making isolation bearable by the way. So likely the whole of Ramadan will be alone for me."

On a norms, that is, without Mr. Corona, how did this season use to be?

"In the evenings, everyone goes to the mosque; there are fruits, there is food, the mosque is full. In the midnight, you can almost count on people to help you wake at the right time. For example, when I was in Ilorin, by 3am you can tell that your neighbours are awake, in Ramadan. But these days, all you will do is know. But you will not see them. [Laughter]

"Another thing about Ramadan, people go out for lectures just to listen to lectures people organized. Everyone has to do that online now. Again, there are some things that people don’t realise. The same way people struggle with online lessons, people will struggle with even that. Because it’s not just the lessons, it’s the people. It is the fact that you are in class and the next person beside you doesn’t understand it too so you don’t feel like you’re an idiot alone."

Or sometimes the person beside you understands and easily puts you through.

"Exactly. Exactly! So I guess it’ll be difficult for a lot of people. But I don’t know yet how difficult it’ll be for me but I know it’ll be difficult mostly that accountability part.

"But it is where we are. So I’m finding solace in the fact that there are some of those activities. Like, you know this thing Yorubas call Ashamu now – Tarawir..."

- Oh yeah, I do. The last prayer at Night, right?

"Yes.

"So, Muslims draw a lot of sense of communion from that but the truth is… the solace is that when the Prophet was alive, he used to do it by himself. We’ll just have to deal with doing it by ourselves."

So the big celebration that was meant to happen at the end, do you think it would?

"It will not happen."

So what do you think that period would look like for you?

“Me, I will be at home. I’ll probably try to mix up my ridiculous stew or maybe… now that you say it… maybe I’ll just order something and just eat and get back to my desk and continue working.”

At this point, he proceeded to tell me that Ramadan would begin four days from the time of that conversation that has not been transcribed into this article. I was pretty shook that the 30-day-long exercise was already so close and I expressed that surprise quite dramatically, I must add.

Now I wonder if his reaction to the loneliest fasting of his life will really be one of quiet acceptance or dramatic anxiety. Or maybe both.

Click here for more Lockdown Chronicles, a diary series in which Nigerians unpack the realities, multi-dimensional struggles and the little victories they experience while dealing with an unprecedented pandemic which suddenly disrupted the life we were used to.