5 annoying foods President Buhari has to quickly ban before 2023

Muhammadu Buhari - first of his name, grand leader of the ethnic groups, banner of things, and protector of the 36 realms - has put his foot down on several things during his 7+ years in office.

Who can possibly forget the Twitter ban and the closure of borders? Even the way music and movies came under severe censorship during his administration shows that if you want to clamp on anything without any explanation, Bubu is the guy to call on.

That’s why we’re hoping our good father of the nation places a ban on these 5 annoying foods before he leaves office.

1. Watermelon

Hear us out: we know you like it and you probably have other [ashawo] purposes for it other than the nutritional one, but hey, we don’t care. Any fruit that’s as stressful to eat as watermelon needs to be banned IMMEDIATELY.

Over to you, Mr President.

2. Fufu

Not many people will raise a ruckus over fufu being banned. But of course, some hoodlums will rage and complain. But when has the opinion of people ever deterred Daddy Bubu from doing what needs to be done?

Into the banned list goes the smello known as fufu, abeg!

3. Semo

LMAO. Sir, we don’t need to explain anything. Just help us ban it. Enough is enough.

4. Wheat

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. If Semo goes, throw Wheat away, too.

To be honest, Your Excellency, sir, you should actually send DSS to arrest people that eat wheat and keep them in an unmarked jail for like 3 months. They kuku like punishment. I mean, look at them loving wheat.

5. Ogbonno soup

This one will have a lot of people angrily vomiting fire, but sir, that thing usually tastes like soap. So, as you’ve always done, sir, just give the middle finger and ban it. 

When people complain about the ban, you will say your hands are tied like you-know-who’s hands.

Just ban ogbonno, sir, abeg.

SUPPLEMENTARY BAN LIST: Catfish, Beans and corn, and Shawarma that has more than one sausage.