Why is dating a mess these days? 5 Nigerians talk about it

The process of dating is the talking stage and not the actual relationship. It involves going out on dates and talking for an extended period, but most times these talking stages are full of so much heartache - even worse than a relationship.

What is really happening in the dating world?

Here are what some people had to say about why dating is a mess;

High expectations

The expectations are high in terms of who the partner should be or what they should have while not setting themselves to the same standards. They are in search of an almost perfect partner.

Seun feels that people come into relationships with unrealistic expectations, “You meet a girl and she expects you to give her the Instagram life, fancy restaurants, come to pick her up in a Range Rover, no one wants to build with you.”

Lack of patience and endurance

David says “any sign of mad behaviour I am leaving. My name is not endurance.”

Seye also agrees, “Our parents and grandparents could endure any kind of mistreatment but not us, as you see me, any small stress I am not doing again.”

Confusion

Some people don’t know what they want. Plus, the options are many, especially in this social media age, scrolling on your phone can provide you with plenty of options.

Dapo says that; “You think that one is not good enough, but the next person is worse and you move on to the next person, but they aren’t any better.”

People are just catching cruise

Some people are not ready for a relationship, they just want to have many options and have fun. Diana says, “I am not looking for a relationship. I am just having conversations with many people. I tell them no sex and no relationship. It’s really fun.

"We are just talking - it can be nasty or intellectual conversations. Some of my friends call me a hoe because I am talking to so many people but I don’t care.”

Insecurities and past relationships

For some people, hurt from past relationships changes them. They either become scum or cannot trust other people. David says; “I still fear my girlfriend is cheating on me because of what happened to me in the past. It’s hard to be at rest.”

Some people say you have to kiss many frogs to meet your prince, but won't it be nice if you didn't have to.

Their original names were not used for this article.