My boyfriend has been acting strange lately. He feels irritated with every little thing I do, insult the hell out of me, makes me feel like am worthless and of no value. It almost 4 years together and I feel like he doesn't see anything good in me.

The last time we had sex was October, he won't even touch me.

My question now is; why do guys change in a relationship all of a sudden after the sweet times together and all of a sudden the other partner now looks like a monster? I asked him last night if I have done anything wrong and if there is something I was doing and I don't do anymore that might have caused these changes but he ignored me and all the while I was talking, he didn't even cough. 

I love this guy so much and I am not ready to lose him because he is now part of me. After God and family, he is the next person so dear to my heart. Losing him will really make me go crazy. 

After the death of my mum he has been there for me; he has been the mother I will always run to but now I am losing him.

Just last night, I was close to taking my own life cause the pain and torture is too much to bear. After I dropped my death note under the bed, I was close to ending it forever because nothing seemed to be working out for me anymore. I don't even care about my own dreams again. I thought destiny has finally brought the one who will always make me smile and happy forever again but I guess I wasn't destined for the happiness.

I would have ended it last night but I don't want to put him and his family in trouble because since the strike in school, I have been at their crib. Please I don't have any friends to talk with or share this with; I need your help please.

________

Dear reader,

When a man stops showing affection, you cannot take blame for it. You must realise this. His faults and shortcomings in the relationship should be his to bear. By blaming yourself for his wrong actions, you are putting yourself through an unnecessary emotional trauma.

Even if you did something wrong and caused the initial problem, his refusal to talk to you about it makes him responsible for the situation as well! By refusing to talk to you, he makes it difficult to rectify the situation and make the relationship return to what it once was. Even if you were wrong, his actions make him just as responsible for this as you are!

I say all of this so as to let you know that you do not have to bear all the pain and worry by yourself. This is not [entirely] your doing. The responsibility for the situation is shared.

Having said all of this, I need to let you know also that you are not less-deserving of happiness than anyone else in this world. You deserve to be happy and that your relationship is not working now does not mean you can no longer be happy in life or even in love.

I honestly think that you should let this man go. If he is showing signs of being tired of you despite all the promises, it shows his mental state and is not an indication of your insufficiency.

Focus your energy on things that make you fulfilled when you are by yourself; things that fill you with a personal sense of accomplishment and self-sufficiency. When you have this, it will no longer be easy for any one, least of all a man, to take you for a ride or tamper with your inner peace for more a brief moment.

Guide your peace in all the ways you can. And please suicide is not the way. There is love in pockets of spaces around us. You’ll find someone better.

__________

Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues? Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail containing your question and location to relationships@pulse.ng, and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it? A problem shared is a problem half-solved!