The Banky and Adesua Effect
Re-examining the friend zone because the right one might have been there all along
Fresh from their South African wedding extravaganza and after the dust has settled on The Wedding Party 2, which was the biggest film debut in Africa (what did you expect?!), the newlyweds have really had the best year imaginable.
Friends become lovers
Banky and Susu's engagement took everyone by shock. The refreshingly private couple kept their entire courtship and relationship off social media and away from prying eyes until it was time to make it official. Banky broke the gram after posting a picture of him on one knee asking Adesua to be his wife. Social media buzzed over the authenticity of the post, suspecting it may all be a ploy to promote a the Wedding Party sequel but the good news was soon confirmed by the couple in beautiful posts where Banky gushed over his bride-to-be.
Banky and Adesua's love story has caused many to re-evaluate who they consider to be potential partners. The friend zone, a term that has been popularised by social media refers to the limbo male friends are stuck in with their female friends. The friend zone is painted as a dark and hopeless place from which few escape.
The psychology behind it is that once a girl put you in the 'friend' category, there you shall remain and die because once she sees you in that light, she cannot view you sexually or as a potential partner. Worse still than the friend zone is the 'brother zone' which breaching is tantamount to incest as far as she's concerned.
The friend zone however, is not all it appears to be. In some instances, it is the most advantageous position to be in. Being a friend gives you unprecedented insight into everything that makes your friend tick. She feels more free to share her hopes and dreams, complain to you and cry on her shoulder. Her guard is down with you because she see you as an ally and you can use that access to really get to know her.
Contrary to what most men believe, women are not most impressed by money and status. Of course, that helps but what women really want, is simply to be listened to and to be understood. Men are often quite performative in their courting of a women and sometimes they tend to overlook the little things that really make her feel appreciated and special and boys, these things are free!
So, instead of changing your situation, change your mindset. Banky waited patiently for 2 years for Adesua. He saw her through relationships with the wrong men and when all was said and done, she turned around and she realised that he had been the one constant all along.
So ladies, who is really there for you? Is there a friend that is a constant in your life? Perhaps it's time to take a second look at him, your own Banky might be sitting right next to you.
JOIN OUR PULSE COMMUNITY!
Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or: