Nigerian entertainers, Banky W and Adesua Etomi are firmly in the list of the country’s most elite celebrities, not least for the fact that the pair, superstars in their individual rights, tied the knot in 2017 with such.
That their engagement announcement actually shut down the Internet on this side of the map is testament to how big the news was, and how much interest it garnered. This cocktail of curiosity, admiration, interest and goodwill carried into their #BAAD wedding parties – the whole of the big show that started in Nigeria, took them to South Africa and also had a stop in UK was so, so well-followed.
It’s been over one year since that huge wedding celebration and attention has simmered down on the movie stars who have had these intervening months to forge a marital path on their own terms, to journey towards happiness in the way they know best.
Pulse sat down with Banky W a while back to talk about how the journey’s been and what it’s been like living as man and wife with Adesua Etomi.
Banky, who now juggles his career in entertainment with political ambitions, tells us about it all; ranging from a frank personal assessment of their young marriage, the little surprise he’s found out about his Susu, as well as advice on what it takes to make a relationship work.
Here’s Banky W speaking on this episode of Couple Goals:
People like to speak about the first year of marriage being the toughest and all. Was it as bad as people said or did it turn out to be something to not be bothered about?
“I think the key for me I’ll say to anybody who is single and searching, I’d say the crucial point is to wait for the right person. I think that for all of the people who say the first year is rough and that is not to say some people just don’t have it difficult, but I think that when you wait for the right person, you try to do it the right way and both of you are on that same page, it becomes infinitely easier.
“My first year of marriage was probably the most favourite year of my life. Period. It’s been an incredible year in our relationship and also in our work, in our careers, in the projects that we are embarking on. In finding your purpose partner and kind of trying to conquer life together, this year has been like my favourite year that I’ve ever lived.
“I think that when you wait for the right person, the right person is worth the wait because you find that with them, it’s a lot easier. Both of you are on the same page and trying to build that life together, it’s a lot easier. Things ARE just better.
“So for me it has everything to do with waiting for the right person. If you do that, then none of the years, by the grace of God will be that difficult.
“That’s not to say that there are not rough times or that there are not times when you argue and get into each other’s faces, but those are few and far in between because you know that you two are working on something together and you love each other. That’s much, much important.”
ALSO READ: Timeline of Banky,Adesua's relationship
Any surprises so far?
“I think when you get married to someone and you start living with them, there are a lot of surprises. I think there is one and I joke with her about this all the time. Before we got married, you know, she would come to visit, then go and she always used to be like oh, to shave your beard and all of that. You spend so much in the bathroom.
“And so I assumed that I spent long in the bathroom by what she said except that when I started living with her, I realized that no man can spend as much time as women do in front of the mirror.
“Even on our wedding day, there was a time when we were playing this game and they asked us who spends longer in the bathroom, because of how much she had said, ‘oh you spend a long time shaving… ‘ I assumed that it was me. I was so wrong. Oh my goodness.
“So it’s little things like that, really, but you know, you tend to find those things endearing over time.”
Which pet peeves do you have that she complains about?
“I’m not the most organized when I return home.
“You know, I work from morning till night, sometimes when I enter the room, where I took my shoe off is where it remains which I’m working on. But I know that she doesn’t like them but I’m working on it.”
Top three things that make relationships and marriage work
“You need to be very much in love with the person you hope to spend the rest of your life with but just as important as this is ensuring that you include the spiritual aspect of love in a relationship.
“I think that a lot of young people in our generation tend to always want to go off the feelings, how you feel about someone in the moment or that day and that’s fine, that’s great. It’s good to have these feelings but I think that one thing that we[he and Adesua] tried to do… which we still try to do in our relationship… is that we try to include God in our relationship.
“We try to pray together, read the bible together every day or as many days as possible. Uhm, before getting married, I strongly recommend to couples to go through counselling.
“It shocks me how many young people make the singular most important decision of your life as to whom you are going to spend the rest of your life with but you do not seek God’s opinion or blessing or help in the matter and I think that in the world that we live today if you are trying to do something like a relationship or marriage and you are not actively including God in it on a day to day basis, praying together, reading the bible together or whatever faith you follow, if you are not going for counselling to learn the issues that young couples tend to face, and learning how to deal with that, then you are setting up yourself for failure or for a very very rough time.
“So for me, my advice to anybody considering spending the rest of their lives with is that it’s a threefold cord – it’s you, your partner, and God. If you put God in the situation, then you stand a chance of lasting the test of time.
“If you think that you are too smart or too intelligent or whatever or you just somehow relegate God to the background and you don’t involve him in the relationship, then you are setting yourself up for a difficult time.”