It's about time we talked about the need for the reeducation of men on what it means to be a good woman.
In a recent Pulse article in which the opinions of 20 young Nigerians was collated and recorded, men have been known to say that the perfect woman for them, the one they can take home to their mummies, has to be “a woman who honestly loves me even with all my imperfections;” “a woman that makes me laugh especially when I’ve had tough, bad days;” “a woman with whom I share a powerful sexual connection;” and “a woman with high self-confidence,” among many others.
To these men, any woman who possesses the characters listed would be perfect. It is such woman that would be introduced to their folks, and it is her that they would love to marry.
The truth is you can have every form of ideal in your mind and you could meet a woman who possesses all these features and more, but that does not make her the perfect type of woman to marry.
For you, yes. For every other man, a big, big no.
This is the most important part of this discourse and this is what many men fail to realise - there is no universally-accepted concept of what a good woman is.
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For the deeply religious, a chaste scarf-wearing woman is the definition of good. A woman can be everything, if not religious, she’s not good enough. For a club-going, hard-partying guy, this may not be the kind of woman he fancies.
The reality, which we hope every man will learn, is that a woman is as good as the person judging her. And of course, you could be so grossly misinformed about her that your judgement will be very wide off the mark.
While we all agree and have to mention here that there are traits that are vastly-accepted and must [always] be present in a woman as far as men are concerned, the truth remains that the perfection or goodness of a woman is not something that has a universal definition.
Men judge women differently, they view them from their personal prisms - which, according to experience, are always tainted by a lot of conditions personal to them.
So if she’s great to Man A, she may be an oddball of imperfection to Man B.
Whether a woman is ‘good enough’ is not for you to decide. That she’s not good enough for you does not necessarily mean she’s not good enough.