It is very common for love languages to be mentioned as a way of getting to know others romantically.
5 misconceptions about love languages
Have we popularised love languages to the point that it is not what the author intended it to be about?
Love languages were first introduced into the common lexicon by Gary Chapman. In 1992, he wrote the book, "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.”
He listed the love languages as words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time and physical touch.
Since the book was published, many people have misconstrued love languages. Here are some misconceptions about love languages;
1. Your partner should know your love language
The point of a love language is to know what your partner wants and not to dictate what they should do for you.
Yes, love languages can cause your partner to understand your needs better, but that is not the point of the book. Love languages to be more about what you can do for your partner.
2. Love languages can excuse certain behaviour
If you have a partner and he does not give you the required attention or words of affirmation or whatever your love language is, he cannot use the excuse of love languages, especially his own.
He cannot say, “I do not give gifts because I do not get the point of gifts, I prefer words of affirmation.”
3. Love languages are the only ways to show love to your partner
Love languages are not the only metric of examining love and just sticking to them can be restrictive.
You can express love in many ways including all the love languages, depending on the context and your needs at the moment.
4. You and your partner need to have matching love languages
You do not need to have matching love languages with your partner to co-exist peacefully. You just need to be willing to give your partner what they want and vice versa.
5. You need to figure out your love language
It is okay if you cannot say which one of the five is your primary love language, as long as you can articulate what you desire from your partner without using those terms.
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