"Disguise" is a shallow, cliché-ridden and unnecessary movie about 'what women want'

No one asked for a movie that answers the above question. But, directed by Desmond Elliot and produced by Victor Okpala, a terrible one was made.

You most likely wouldn't easily figure that "Disguise" is a terrible film, especially when you look at its colourful cast, but its hollow synopsis and trailer should have been enough warning.

The official synopsis of "Disguise"

"The movie aims to solve the age-old question “what do men and women want?”. Do you get it? It comes with an adventure-filled, hilarious twist."

What "Disguise" is actually about

A millionaire asks a group of young writers to find the answer to the question 'What do women want?' for a cash prize of 10 million naira.

Most bad films often have some redeeming qualities that make the watching experience a little less sad. Unfortunately, "Disguise" isn't most movies.

Perhaps, Elliot's most shrewd move lies in his casting which involves some talented actors who you would expect more from.

Wale Ojo plays Theophilus Von, a millionaire, who after his third divorce, decides to task a group of writers to find answers to the question: What do women want?

Spoiler: These writers never actually provide a logical answer to the question.

IK Ogbonna and Nancy Isime play Melvin and Belinda, respectively. They are the pair chosen by Von to carry out the research.

To get answers, they decide to disguise themselves; Belinda as a man, and Melvin as a woman.

They also enrol in a university, and get an accommodation in the school hostel just so they can interact with other students and find out what they think each gender wants.

They find themselves in several male-female situations created by the writers to elicit laughter. For instance, a disguised Melvin walks into a room with half-clad females and is suddenly lusting after them. He is also asked by his competitive neighbours to feel their boobs and give verdict on which is bigger.

For Belinda, she asks questions about football, which according to the writers, every guy should know. She is also harassed by a woman, who finds 'him' attractive.

Daniel K Daniel plays Von's brother, a lecturer in the University Melvin and Belinda use for their research. He is also engaged to get married to his colleague, played by Toyin Aimakhu, who is weeks away from becoming his boss. And because it's 'unheard of' that a woman becomes husband's boss at work, he tries to convince her to reject the promotion.

In "Disguise," the gender-swapping premise, which is actually stale, isn't explored with any intelligence.

This film makes no attempt to overturn or cleverly explore some outdated assumptions. Instead, it wallows in gender stereotypes, advancing impressions such as: Slay queen equals prostitute, women just want to enslave men, men are the enemies who never treat women right, picking up a man's call the first time makes you cheap.

"Disguise" thinks lowly of men, has a lower opinion of women, and without doubt, the lowest opinion of the judgement of the Nigerian movie going audience.

The film creates scenes in which the men learn what women really think about them, and vice versa; but those lessons are cliché-ridden and shallow.

If "Disguise" had the patience to humorously explore the complexities of both male and female sexes, it would, perhaps, be a much more inspired piece of work.

One of the most painful movie-going experiences is sitting through an hour long of a 'comedy movie' and not laugh once; that's what "Disguise" offers.

After being subjected to this saddening experience, you will be speechless. Not by the film's good use of humor or performances, but by how bad it is, and then you wonder: Why does this film even exist? Especially in the cinema?