Lekki Runs Girls Are The Most Polite Women In Lagos

So I moved to the Island, and gave up all the noise, weed, Agbero and over-population that come with residing in central Lagos. I am happy I did give it up, almost all of it anyway. I don’t have a car yet, so I get to have plenty of life-changing interactions with the bus conductors, who never seem to get it in their head to be polite. I guess if they show a little courtesy, the world will end.

That’s all for the bus conductors. The regular Agbero disappeared, but something else filled the empty space. Runz girls.

Runs girls are so amazing. They aren’t prostitutes who stand by the road side and try to get a person, any person, to get a taste of their good good loving. These ones have got class and hey roll with the best in the city, or anyone they think has got clout and influence.

I am a bit fat, fair and possessing a Brimerican accent. In many parts of Nigeria, those traits are the hallmarks of a boss. I had long stopped attending traditional marriages because the praise singers always single me out for special treatment and playful extortion.

“Egbon, Baale, Kabiyesi, Oba…or any one of those scam names that they use to make me a poorer person. God punish praise singers. Worst scammers ever!

The Runs girls in Lagos are also quick to spot me out. Working with Pulse.ng, throws me into a lot of parties, and that’s where the trouble starts. I spend half my night having to explain to women that I am from a Christian home, and they taught me never to have anything to do with women. But they never listen. So with time I developed my ‘snob face’, and they never approach me.

But last week, I had the bad luck of appearing in a Lekki runs girls hostel, and my life has never remained the same. I didn’t go there to go find woman. I went to visit a new friend who told me everything about herself, except the most important part. She was a runs girl and she lived in a huge apartment in Lekki.

The moment I stepped, into the posh building, I knew I had done something wrong. Over 50 women were present in a long hall. They were scantily-clad with the flashy colours of bra and pants. Instantly, I fell in love with the rainbow.

My hostess called some friends over who smiled in their bras and bum shorts, I warmed up immediately and began to flirt. But nemesis said no.

“That bros no dey ever pay!” A voice screamed. I was shocked.

A young pretty woman came out from the shadows. Young, dark and sexy, she had a pink bra, and black bum shorts. Her boobs were spilling…I was still shocked.

“The bros no dey pay. Him no dey gree carry person. Wetin him dey find here? I get acid o”. Her pidgin English had a guttural thick Yoruba accent. The type you get from a lifetime at Ijebu Ode. I knew she wasn’t joking about the acid.

And my hostess knew too, because she jumped in front of me, and got ready for fight. “Na my best friend go pay you? You no go find another man? Them no plenty” Abeg comot here jor before I pour you my acid”.

I grew scared. This house is a reservoir of pretty women and acid. I offered a silent prayer for my soul and slowly walked outside. I stared at the ground while thinking about my life. So na so I carry die.

Afte 15 minutes there was a reduction of the noises from within the house. My ‘bestfriend’ came out to tell me that all has been resolved. Other girls also came out to plead with me, and tell stories. They were so polite and cool. And right then I forgave them all. They’re good people.

I left that home after spending a little over an hour with them all. They struck me as pretty, polite, smart, ‘hardworking’ and cool. These runs girls were the most polite I have ever met.

Peace and good hustle. Make friends with a runs girl today. You will learn lessons in courtesy and acid storage.

See you next Tuesday.