The fact that MILFs play such an outsized role in adult entertainment makes sense when you look at the content of mens sexual fantasies. I surveyed more than 4,000 American adults about their fantasies for my book Tell Me What You Want and found that 88 percent of heterosexual men said they had fantasized about MILFs before. In addition, 42 percent said they fantasize about MILFs often.
Daily Expert: What it Means if You're Really Into MILF Porn
In the world of porn and erotic fiction, moms seem so be all the rage. For example, MILF (an acronym for Mom Id Like to Fuck) was the third most popular search term on Pornhub last year. It was also the third most-viewed category, and it boasts more than 40,000 videos. Likewise, if you search the erotica section on Amazons Kindle store, the term MILF brings up over 10,000 hits.
What it Means if You're Really Into MILF Porn
So what is it that makes moms alluring to so many men? In order to understand their appeal, we need to consider the way MILFs tend to be depicted in the world of porn. Research suggests that, more often than not, these women are portrayed quite differently than younger women are.
In a study published in the Journal of Sex Research , researchers analyzed the content of 50 MILF videos and 50 teen videos taken from some of the most popular porn sites. The main thing they found was that MILFs were placed in more dominant roles, sexually and otherwise.
<a href="https://www.menshealth.com/about/g26028263/mh-advisory-board/" data-vars-ga-outbound-link="https://www.menshealth.com/about/g26028263/mh-advisory-board/">Click here</a> to learn more about the Mens Health expert advisory board.
BusinessInsider USA Images
ADVERTISEMENT
While traditional gender roles suggest that men are supposed to be the initiators of sex while women are the gatekeepers, MILF porn presents a major reversal of those roles. Compared to teens, MILFs were two-and-a-half times more likely to initiate sex. MILFs were also much more likely to take control during the encounter. In fact, they were nine times more likely than teens to set the pace and direction of sex.
MILFs were also usually depicted as having higher occupational status over their male partners, something that was never once observed in any of the teen videos. Specifically, more than four out of five MILFs were shown having high status jobs, such as being the boss, judge, or teacher. By contrast, in MILF videos, men were usually depicted as students or lower-level employees.
These findings suggest that the men who are drawn to MILF porn may be turned on more generally by the idea of playing a submissive role to a powerful and dominant woman. My sexual fantasy data from Tell Me What You Want offer additional support for this idea.
Among straight men, I found that having frequent MILF fantasies was linked to having more fantasies about being sexually submissive, being sexually humiliated, and having sex forced upon you. Its worth noting that, among heterosexual women, those who reported more MILF fantasies were more likely to fantasize about being dominant, sexually humiliating a partner, and forcing sex on someone else.
In other words, men and women alike seem to associate MILFs with certain aspects of BDSM. When you consider that BDSM is one of the most common sexual fantasy themes , this suggests that perhaps MILF scenarios are just one of many ways that people seek to enact those broader BDSM desires.
ADVERTISEMENT
The appeal of MILFs, however, isnt all about interest in power and control. Interestingly, I also found that men who fantasized about MILFs tended to have more attachment anxiety, meaning they are more insecure in their relationships. Theyre worried that their partner might leave and they need quite a lot of reassurance.
To be clear, this was a small association, meaning that being into MILFs is far from a reliable sign that a given guy is insecure; however, the fact that theres a link at all suggests that there is at least a small percentage of men who take some psychological comfort in the idea of a MILF.
Anxious men tend to be worried about sexual rejection , so these men might prefer to be with a woman who makes her interest in sex clear and takes the lead. This means these guys dont need to put themselves in that position of vulnerability where they attempt to initiate sex but might have their advances rebuffed.
Consistent with this idea, mens MILF fantasies were linked more broadly to fantasies about being desired and wanted. Men who fantasized about MILFs were also more likely to fantasize about breast milk. This suggests that breast milk fetishes might be part of why some men are drawn to moms, too.
Lastly, I found that MILF fantasies were associated with fantasies about sexually pleasing a partner. When you consider that MILFs know what they want and are not afraid to say it, this tells us that another reason some guys may be drawn to MILFs is because its simply easier to please a woman who makes her sexual wants and desires clear.
ADVERTISEMENT
When looking at the appeal of MILF porn and erotica, its clear that theres a very rich underlying psychology, but also that different men may be drawn to MILFs for very different reasons.
Justin Lehmiller, PhD is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the blog Sex and Psychology . His latest book is Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life . Follow him on Twitter @JustinLehmiller
JOIN OUR PULSE COMMUNITY!
ADVERTISEMENT
Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or:
Email: eyewitness@pulse.ng
Recommended articles
Adesola Adeyemi advocates mental health with 'Styling the Mind'
7 amazing health benefits of eating seaweed
Top 5 most expensive paintings ever sold
When does old age actually begin? Scientists have an answer — it's not 30
The early signs of labour every woman should know
How parents, teachers can recognise when a child is being bullied
Here's why exotic animals should never be kept as pets
7 most prominent industries in Nigeria that contribute to the country's wealth
How to deal with bullies and protect yourself
These are 3 reasons houseflies love mangoes and here are 7 ways to keep them away
5 ways chamomile tea enhances your sexual health
Okin biscuits and 9 other snacks millennials loved as children
ADVERTISEMENT