"My baby's father threatens to murder me if I don't marry him"

17:32 - 21 March 2016

Anytime I tell him to leave me alone, he keeps threatening to kill me insisting we must get married because of our child

Hello Bukky,

My name is Faith. I started dating this guy since 2009 after my ex-boyfriend cheated on me. I got pregnant in 2010 and gave birth in 2011 without knowing much about his family.

I discovered much later that he lied to me about his age and academic status, I began to see in him some traits I don’t want in a guy I would want to spend the rest of my life with so I decided to call off the relationship in 2013.

My boyfriend refused to listen to me, insisting we must get married because of our child and that he loves me too. Anytime I tell him to leave me alone, he keeps threatening to kill me. He also threatens the new guy I’m currently dating.

His family members do not like me but he keeps insisting we must get married. Please tell me what to do.

Thanks.

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Hello Faith,

Thank you for sharing this delicate issue with me.

A relationship that isn’t making you happy can always be broken but when a child is involved it is one of the hardest decisions to make.

Sometimes we see but we don’t look properly and end up making life mistakes that are irreversible. As much as you might claim to be in love with him at that point in time, why didn’t you try to find out who he really was before getting intimate with him? A little knowledge about his family before a baby came on the way could have been more helpful to you.

You really can’t chase him away from your life because he’s the father of your baby and he’ll want to be in his child’s life unless he chooses not to be.

I’ll advise you to seek help from your family and the police if he keeps threatening to do something drastic to you. Have a chat with him on why you both cannot be together and why you both should be cordial towards each other for the sake of your child. This should be done preferably in an open place with people around; you can also go with a family member or friend.

Also, protect your baby as much as you can if he becomes really violent and inform your boyfriend to be on the lookout for his own safety.

I wish you all the best.