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Relationship Talk With Bukky: How do I ask my girl for sex without coming off as a player?

Unhappy couple who have not been having enough sex [Credit: Ebony]
Unhappy couple who have not been having enough sex [Credit: Ebony]
I’m trying my possible best to avoid that thought of <em>“It’s just sex he wants.”</em>
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Dear Bukky,

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I’m from Benin City and I’ve been in a relationship for 5 months and I personally decided not to make sex a priority to prove to her that I truly care about her.

But I would really want to have sex though, but I’m trying my possible best to avoid that thought of “It’s just sex he wants.”

Is it right for me to ask her for sex? Can I ask her for sex? What would be the best approach?

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Dear reader,

How did this relationship begin? That’s where this starts from. Did you start this relationship with all the requisite information? Did you guys ever speak of the sexual dimension of your relationship and how you are going to go about it?

If not, now is probably the time to talk about it. Tactfully ask what she thinks about premarital sex. How far she is willing to go – does she want to just make out, go all the way or do none of those? It is key that you know and decide whether or not you still want to remain in the relationship.

I always advise people that if you want a sexual relationship, you should date someone who wants the same thing. If not, date someone who shares the same attitude towards sex.

The asking is something you should have done before the relationship began, not now that it has begun. But since we are here, you should absolutely ask. But be wise and nice about it, even if it turns out that she does not want any sexual act with you till she’s married.

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Just send a mail containing your question and location to relationships@pulse.ng, and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it? A problem shared is a problem half-solved!

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