Relationship Talk With Bukky My girlfriend wants just sex but I want a committed relationship

She says she can't love me back because she is not ready for serious relationship.

  • Published:
My girlfriend wants just sex but I want a committed relationship play

My girlfriend wants just sex but I want a committed relationship

(Fotolia)
24/7 Live - Subscribe to the Pulse Newsletter!

Dear Bukky,

My girlfriend says she's with me only for the sex. She tells me to my face she likes sex with as many available men as possible. She says she can't love me back because she is not ready for serious relationship. Yet she goes mad for want of seeing me when she's bored. She also sometimes discusses the future with me.

Like I'm really confused. She's got a crazy sexuality but I'm cool with that and I really love her for it but she doesn't believe me. I'd like to settle down with her but she's refusing.

She recently traveled out of the state for her internship and I'm worried sick from jealousy and worry that she might not be able to control herself and get me infected when she comes back. She has assured me that she will not [infect me] if she decides to sleep with other guys but that she just wants to have the option available to her.

Can I ever change the course of her head? Is it safe to settle with her? She says she wants to do whatever she desires but when married, she'll never cheat on her husband.

Help please.
_____________

There's something called the hoe phase and I think that's the stage of life where your girlfriend is at right now.

A pulse article here explains the hoe phase in detain and you should click and check it out but for the purpose of the issue at hand, the hoe phase basically means, according to the online Urban dictionary, a phase in your life that occurs when you are fine with exploring promiscuous activities and connecting with random people.

The question now is this: are you cool with that? I think if you are not you may want to step out of that relationship except she is willing to give it up and become committed to you.

ALSO READ: Is complete honesty really needed in relationships?

And apparently she isn't ready to do so just yet.

I really do not think there is a way to convince her to be committed to you. It does not even make sense to. I believe it is far better for her to make up her mind about it herself, as opposed to making her. She may not really be ready to give it up and that could make her relapse into it.

I think the best thing is to just continue the open relationship, if you can bear it, and hope that she'll decide to be committed soon - to you.

Do such people make great, faithful wives, there's no way to know for sure.

In your case, as I have said before If you cannot bear to share with her someone else, make her know. If she's not ready for a committed relationship exclusive to just you, then let her go.
_____________
Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail to relationships@pulse.ng and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

Note; the chances of getting a quick response reduces if the text in your email has a lot of abbreviations. So, please write as properly as possible.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?

A problem shared is a problem half-solved!

Do you ever witness news or have a story that should be featured on Pulse Nigeria?
Submit your stories, pictures and videos to us now via WhatsApp: +2349055172167, Social Media @pulsenigeria247: #PulseEyewitness & DM or Email: eyewitness@pulse.ng. More information here.