ADVERTISEMENT

The 3 biggest mistakes people make in online dating, according to the CEO of eHarmony

Grant Langston has seen thousands of dating profiles over the years. Here are the biggest mistakes he keeps seeing online daters make.

null

Online dating can feel doomed from the start.

ADVERTISEMENT

Showcasing your best qualities in the real world can be tough enough; but online you're expected to highlight them solely through a few paragraphs and pictures. What could go wrong?

Grant Langston, CEO of the online-dating site eHarmony, recently spoke with Business Insider about the biggest mistakes people make in online dating — and how they can correct them.

ADVERTISEMENT

Years of online matchmaking have taught Langston that too many people who are new to online dating (and even some who've been in the game a while) are deathly afraid of being perceived as weird. As a result, they build profiles that are downright boring.

It's not interesting to write "I like movies" in your profile, he says. Everyone likes movies. You need something to catch other users' eye if your profile is the 20th they've seen that day.

"I need to know that you like 'The Godfather' and you've seen it fifty times, and you can quote the dialogue, and your second-favorite movie is 'Tommy Boy,'" he says. "I need details."

Not only do details make you stand out (even at the expense of coming off goofy), but juicy bits of information lead to richer interactions if you end up going on a date.

"When I say to you, 'Now, 'Tommy Boy,' why on Earth do you like that movie?' that sets you up to talk to me," Langston says, "and it's a shortcut to a better conversation."

ADVERTISEMENT

At the other end of the spectrum are people who don't know when to stop talking about themselves. Either they think they're endlessly fascinating, or they're just too dense to realize they're oversharing.

Even if the information is interesting, Langston says, people should exercise some restraint in sharing heaps of personal stuff too quickly. Listing a few movies you're into is good. Listing your entire collection, alphabetically by director — that's excessive.

"Leave something for the date," he says. "I don't want a dissertation about your film habits."

ADVERTISEMENT

Cell-phone cameras have come a long way in the past decade, but Langston says most people are still surprisingly bad at taking a flattering photo of themselves. Men seem to be especially fine with using (what seem to be) hastily-snapped selfies taken at odd angles, he says.

"The fact is, everyone puts a big emphasis on what they see there. And if what they see there is not good, they just won't go any further," he says.

The success of dating apps like Tinder and Bumble only emphasize that point, Langston adds. People who are looking for serious relationships might say they care about a deeper connection, but physical attraction always matters.

"Some people think that's shallow," he said. "That's just the human animal."

FOLLOW BUSINESS INSIDER AFRICA

Unblock notifications in browser settings.
ADVERTISEMENT

Recommended articles

Amazon online shopping comes to South Africa

Amazon online shopping comes to South Africa

Nigerian officials accused of seeking $150 million bribe from Binance to dissolve case

Nigerian officials accused of seeking $150 million bribe from Binance to dissolve case

Accelerating insurance penetration: A digital revolution in emerging markets

Accelerating insurance penetration: A digital revolution in emerging markets

Nigeria's action against Binance execs sets a dangerous precedent, CEO says

Nigeria's action against Binance execs sets a dangerous precedent, CEO says

5 African cities with the most financially stable people

5 African cities with the most financially stable people

10 African countries struggling with the slow internet speeds in 2024

10 African countries struggling with the slow internet speeds in 2024

Top 10 African billionaires on Forbes list

Top 10 African billionaires on Forbes list

Top 10 most important elections in Africa in 2024

Top 10 most important elections in Africa in 2024

Top 10 most adventurous African countries in 2024, according to  U.S. News

Top 10 most adventurous African countries in 2024, according to U.S. News

ADVERTISEMENT