Dear Bukky,

I'm writing in respect of my marriage. My husband is a medical doctor he left our place of residence for a 5-year-course in another place and we have been leaving happily before he left for the course. One day I called that I was coming to his place for the weekend he said I should stay with the kids.

I was like you have not seen for some months now and you said I should stay with kids, I now said I I’m coming but I won't sleep at your place. Then he said why will I go and sleep in a friend’s house when he is in town so he allowed me sleep at his place.

Then I went out to buy something to eat when I was over there. Somebody at the store asked who I was and I told them I'm the wife of the person leaving behind then he said I should be praying very well, because he is into different girls.

So I proceeded to check corners of the house and I saw bras, panties, etc. That was when I believed there was someone somewhere. So I confronted him. He denied until I showed him the panties. Since then, our relationship became sour and we went on and on like that.

Because he can't do without communicating with girlfriends he decided to start sleeping in a different room. I went to meet him severally, asking if it was right for a husband and his wife to be sleeping separately. He said I should not start my drama.

Most of the times, he will reject me when I go, and when he sees that it's getting to some weeks that we have not met, he will be saying even if the man is misbehaving the woman is supposed to know how she will beg the man and not by keeping distance.

Yet if I try fixing things with him he will say I'm treating him like a baby, I just decided to leave him and let him be since he said I'm stalking him, and it's not compulsory for a husband and wife to sleep in the same room.

So here’s my question, what would you suggest for me to do?_____________

Dear reader,

Protracted infidelity is a ground for divorce if you ever want to explore that option.

In any case, if you would rather look for ways to mend broken fences with him, I suggest you involve a third party. Someone you both trust, but most of all, someone he trusts and respects. Someone that can call him to order on the wrong things he’s doing.

Another option would be couple’s counseling but I doubt you would be able to get him to go for that.

So the option of getting someone he respects, someone who has a wealth of wisdom and strategic communication skills seems to me like the most valid here.

I hope your marriage gets back on track.______________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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