7 things we learnt from ex president at PDP convention

On the rostrum to address party faithful was former President Goodluck Jonathan.

It was a visibly angry Jonathan who ditched his prepared speech and addressed the audience extemporaneously.

Here are seven Jonathan soundbites from the occasion:

1. PDP feels intimidated these days

It used to be the PDP intimidating and bullying other political parties for 16 years.

However, these days, the PDP feels intimidated, if Jonathan’s comments are anything to go by.

“Nobody should intimidate the PDP. I believe in the PDP”, Jonathan blared.

Dear KOWA, your move…

2 Jonathan admits he didn’t really fight corruption

There was a time when the PDP and Jonathan were in denial about their role in the corruption that festered on their watch for all of 16 years.

Not anymore, we guess.

Here’s Jonathan finally admitting he came up short in tackling corruption as president--the goat and 'nyam' philosophy no less.

“Though we didn’t completely plug the loopholes in the fight against corruption, but we did well”.

That’s a bit like saying you passed a test you actually flunked.

3. Jonathan managed Nigeria’s economy very, very well

“I learnt that some people said that if the PDP had remained in power beyond 2015, the economy would have been worse. This couldn’t have been the case, because we had a sound economic team in place”, the former president said.

“Let us not forget that the great floods of 2012 were a major calamity that damaged homes and farmlands on the plains of River Niger and Benue.

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“But despite the devastating effects of this natural disaster, there were no food shortages or arbitrary increase in prices, because of what we were able to accomplish with our agriculture transformation agenda, which considerably boosted food production".

4. PDP is the party to return Nigeria to greatness

Jonathan said: “The PDP is indeed back to reclaim its prime position as the party to lead Nigeria to greatness.

“As a human institution, we cannot claim perfection, but obviously as a political party, our accomplishments as of 2015 far outweigh our shortfalls.”

You heard the man--PDP is the party to return Nigeria to greatness.

5. God believes in the PDP

If you ever wondered which political party card God carries around in his breast pocket, Jonathan is here to erase those doubts once and for all.

“Even God Himself believes in the PDP”, Jonathan said. “Today is August 12, look at the weather.

“God wants us to celebrate in the PDP, that’s why there is no rain.

“It is important we manage our differences responsibly, with an eye on the divine role of the PDP to lead Nigeria to greatness. Let us rededicate ourselves to playing by the rules.

“Let us all ensure that the PDP is renewed in vigour to deliver on its divine responsibility to Nigerians. Let us forget the grievances of the past and look to the future with confidence and optimism".

6. PDP is born again

Jonathan wants you to know that the PDP is born again.

“I urge you to go back to your respective constituencies to promote the ideals of our great party. Let it be known that our party has been born anew, committed to the best ideals of democracy.”

And here we were thinking the PDP had no ideals or values.

Our bad!

7. Other countries copied from Nigeria while PDP was in charge of the center

The PDP was so good, other countries queued to ape its laudable policies and programs, according to Jonathan.

“If we say that we rekindled hope in our people and regained international goodwill, it is because we pursued a number of policies and programmes that were not only richly rewarding for our people, but were also being copied by many countries across the globe, a few of which I will mention here.”

If you aren’t clapping for the PDP at this point, we wonder what you are waiting for.

We just wonder.