No, you cannot beat my child, thank you; here's why

In 47 countries around the world, it is illegal for a parent, teacher, or anyone else to spank a child. Also, 124 countries prohibit corporal punishment in schools. Yet in all of Nigeria, physical punishment by a parent is still seen as a necessary way to discipline. As a result, it is condoned, or sadly, even encouraged.

Yet, there is that Yoruba proverb that means "if anyone asks you to beat their child as a way of discipline, don't do it. They don't mean it". It is 2019, beating kids really needs to stop. If we take evolution seriously, then surely better ways have emerged to discipline a child. Here are some reasons why personally, I will not take kindly to anyone beating my children.

Here's Why Beating Kids is A No-no

Hitting children teaches them to become hitters themselves.

Extensive research data shows that children who endured beating in childhood will become violent and aggressive adults. This shouldn't come as a surprise, as much of parenting involves leading by example. So it is our responsibility as parents to set an example of empathy and wisdom.

Punishment distracts the child from learning how to resolve conflicts humanely.

No, you cannot beat my child, thank you; here's why Pulse Nigeria

As the educator, John Holt wrote, "When we make a child afraid, we stop learning dead in its tracks." A punished child becomes preoccupied with feelings of anger and fantasies of revenge. He misses the opportunity to learn more effective methods of solving the problem at hand. Thus, a punished child learns little about how to handle or prevent similar situations in the future.

Establishing a link between pain and pleasure

No, you cannot beat my child, thank you; here's why Pulse Nigeria

The buttocks are an erogenous zone in childhood. Beating kids on the buttocks can create in the child's mind an association between pain and sexual pleasure. It can ultimately lead to difficulties in adulthood. If a child receives little parental attention, he will further merge the concepts of pain and pleasure in his mind. A child in this situation will have little self-esteem, believing he deserves nothing better.

The Risks of physical damage and danger

Even relatively moderate spanking can be physically dangerous. Blows to the lower end of the spinal column send shock waves along the length of the spine and may injure the child. The prevalence of lower back pain among adults in our society may well have its origins in childhood punishment. Some children have become paralyzed through nerve damage from spanking. And some have died after mild paddlings, due to undiagnosed medical complications.

Erroneously linking aggression to self-expression

No, you cannot beat my child, thank you; here's why Pulse Nigeria

Children learn through parental modeling. Beating kids gives the message that hitting is an appropriate way to express feelings and to solve problems. If a child does not observe a parent solving problems creatively and humanely, it can be difficult for him to learn to do this himself. For this reason, unskilled parenting often continues into the next generation.

Gentle instruction, supported by a strong foundation of love and respect, is the only truly effective way to bring about commendable behaviour based on strong inner values, instead of superficially "good" behavior based only on fear. So no, don't beat my child, or any other child.

Also read: Woman Is Stabbed To Death By Boyfriend Days Before Release Of Book On Domestic Violence

This article was first published on AfricaParent.com