5 over-worked things enjoying rest now that Lagos is on lockdown

Since Coronavirus took over the world and forced human beings into hiding, tweets have been surfacing, claiming that the earth is healing now that our influence on it has greatly reduced.

There are tweets about carbon emissions reducing, of mountain goats getting more freedom to roam without the fear of humans, of birds enjoying timeout on the beach without humans to rob them of unlimited access, and so on and so forth.

But are nature and mother earth the only things resting now that humans are isolating themselves and sitting their invasive butts at home? Well, apparently not.

Here are some other things that have found rest since Coronavirus decided to go on a world-wide tour:

Your clothes

All of your ~~six pieces of clothing and two shoes~~ nice clothes and dope shoes are on indefinite holiday and best believe, I can hear their voices, and they’re glad and singing for joy that you’re not putting them under further duress anytime in the foreseeable future.

Your ATM card

No matter how much money you get to spend in lockdown, chances are that it won’t be as much as you would, if you were going about your normal day-to-day life.

Your ATM card and bank apps are either on a mini-holiday or complete sabbatical, depending on how much need you have for money in this period. But ideally, many won’t need money as much as they would in this period. So don’t be surprised if your ATM card looks somehow fresher and your Bank app glows brighter after the lockdown. They’ve had enough rest.

Your sexual organs

Err… it’s true that some people are particularly overworking their genitalia now that they’re at home with extra time on their hands and an abundance of energy in their partners.

But for the most part, many people are [begrudgingly] giving their sexual organs a well-deserved rest.

I mean, being hardworking fornicators that many are, this rest is making them more agitated than rested, but those penises and vaginas are singing for joy to the high heavens that they can't do much about it. Trust me on that.