5 Things we learned as Nobel Laureate bins green card

Soyinka is no fan of U.S President-elect, Donald Trump.

Days before the vote, Soyinka promised to rip his green card apart in the event of a Trump victory over Democrat Hillary Clinton.

“If in the unlikely event he does win, the first thing he’ll do is to say [that] all green-card holders must reapply to come back into the US. Well, I’m not waiting for that.

ALSO READ: Nobel laureate vows to leave US if Donald Trump wins

“The moment they announce his victory, I will cut my green card myself and start packing up.”

According to the Prof, he's fulfilled his promise.

Here are five things this whole green card saga has taught us:

1. Victory for Internet trolls

Soyinka probably doesn't run a Facebook or Twitter account, but the Internet trolls successfully got under his skin.

As the TV networks called the election for Trump, the social media crowd mounted enormous pressure on Soyinka to be a man of his words.

In a fit of rage, Soyinka lashed back.

He called the baying social media crowd "noisome creatures; nattering nitwits of the internet", but not once did they back off.

Soyinka also pleaded with the "nattering nitwits" to lay off him because he wouldn't rip the green card before the media, but no one was listening.

Soyinka was still so livid, he asked the "noisome creatures" to go back to school if they really wanted to understand what he meant.

Well, three weeks after Trump's "unlikely" victory, Soyinka announced he had kept his promise.

“I have already done it, I have disengaged (from the). I have done what I said I would do,” the 82-year-old said on the sidelines of an education conference at the University of Johannesburg.

“I had a horror of what is to come with Trump… I threw away the (green) card, and I have relocated, and I’m back to where I have always been".

Be careful what you ask for, Prof.

If you are an Internet troll, drink up already. This is for you.

2. Soyinka didn't really keep his word

There's a difference between "I will cut my green card" and "I threw away the (green) card".

The former denotes using a scissor or some sharp object to rip something to shreds.

The latter means hurling something into some garbage heap.

We can infer that as a man of letters, Soyinka was speaking figuratively when he said "I will cut my green card".

Yeah, it's all semantics, you'd say, but isn't that what a Soyinka would have done if the shoe were on the other foot?

'Cut' and 'throw' aren't one and the same, but let's move on....

3. Nigerian Universities are winners too

Back in the United States where Soyinka 'once' enjoyed the esteemed permanent residence status, Harvard, Cornell and Yale University classrooms were his workplace addresses.

Well, their ill luck now because our erudite Professor is not theirs anymore.

He's coming home to Daddy!

"I am back (home)", Soyinka said.

University of Ibadan, Ogun State University, University of Ife and even MAULAG (sorry, UNILAG), should make a scramble for this guy while it is still day.

Soyinka still has a lot to offer the academia.

4. Green cards are still very useful

“It’s useful in many ways. I wouldn’t for one single moment discourage any Nigerians or anybody from acquiring a green card… but I have had enough of it,” Soyinka said.

So, there you have it.

If you thought U.S green cards have become so useless just because Soyinka now trashes them into dustbins at will, think again.

Berra go ahead, fast and pray so you can get yours.

And when you are 82, you can get really angry and trash your hard earned green card for LAWMA.

Hey!

5. Trump is still not welcome in Nigeria, though

In Olamide's voice, Dear Trump, do not f***ng come to the mainland

Any U.S politician who can make our beloved, silver-haired Professor trash his beloved green card just to return to his beloved home country, is not our friend again.

Yes...there..we said it.

We don't hate you, Trump. We just don't love you.

You silver-haired, p** grabbing prick!