Change begins with who?

Come to think of it Baba can kickstart the Change Begins With Me campaign by sacrificing his salary and that of his cabinet until Nigeria gets out of recession.

Anyway, before I start, I want to say good morning to my panel of judges, my co-debaters and my accurate time keeper.

Hmmmmmmmm! Change begins with me! Yes it does because you will not get this vote in 2019. That is certainly how my own has begun. With this decision to play monkey post in 2019 when your name is mentioned and other parties have no credible candidate.

Change! Baba, you came at a time Nigerians were tired of the happenings and incompetencies of the previous government which you have now made popular by your actions and inactions.

Baba! You rode with the tide and promised us to bring the change that we desired. Fuad did not eat one day without singing your praise.

Only that he is an Ijebu man, he would have sold his father's half plot of land in Ikorodu and donated to your campaign. Ha! It would have been the "wrongest" investment of his life. I trust my guy, him for don ask for refund.

You gave us hope and made Nigerians believe at last, The messiah has come. The people trooped to the polling booths and cast a unanimous vote of confidence in you.

A vote of confidence in you to bring about the change wey you promise ni oh, not this government magic.

Now, you turn back and go all motivational on us, saying we should see change in us first before one thing, one thing.

E be like say na Osinbajo Sunday sermon una use write that thing, because, baba na the change wey Nigerians see in them, it is the power they know they have that they used to put you there to Kpari the remaining ishe!

See how I am sounding like a lady whose, boyfriend broke her heart after promising to buy her motor, and after doing the do, you say Ko le werk because she no bring her own part of the money or say she no show commitment by showing you her tire.

Awitan! You come say change is not about economic progress. Wetin you promise us before? wey the drop in foreign exchange rate?

READ: Change is not about economic or social progress – Buhari says

The N5,000 monthly salary for unemployed nkor? What of the Chibok girls return? You just CHANGE all!

Ah! Please forgive me, you brought change. You increased the price of fuel to N145 and told us the price will change later.

Your feeding budget should be cut down too, if you say change begins with you. Even your travelling made a dent in the nation's coffers.

This campaign from my point of view must be the handwork of those Aso Rock praise singers or the blame passing might be broda Lai's handwork.

You are tired of blaming the previous administration, una wan come tell us say na we be the winch Wey no let una destiny shine abi?

We agree that as Nigerians we have our own role to play to ensure that our nation grows. (at least the ones you have not silenced with intimidation yet).

Because it looks like anybody who does not align with your agenda suddenly received some funds from the father Christmas himself, Dasuki.

Everybody cannot be in Aso Rock at once, that is why Nigerians used their vote to begin the change by putting you there.

Change! Oga Ade, the only change you have succeeded in bringing is the change in the pots and pockets of Nigerians that has made everyone, including your loyal court jesters, popular wailers.

Everyone is singing the wailers' recession song. Majek send down the rain sef no beat this one. Imagine! So na our fault say recession dey. Oshiomhole and your finance prefect indirectly say na Nigerians cause am.

READ: Oshiomhole says Nigerians should change their consumption pattern

They say you are the only President who has not stolen, I say you are the President who has stolen the small garri, sugar and epa wey we dey manage before.

Your policies stole Jobs, caused capital flight, the manufacturing sector is near comatose state, yet you say it begins with us. We no dey pay our tax? Na blood you wan suck? So your War Against Indiscipline (WAI) campaign was not enough to drum the message in?

Abeg! I don overtalk, my ogi and akara don cold finish as I dey use vex write this piece. Ol boy, this woman akara don small sha.

READ: Goodluck Jonathan to blame for high food prices – Garba Shehu

Eh! Imagine N50 wey dey do me use drink Ijebu garri with iceblock nor reach anything again. N10 sugar no carry. Even Cowbell don comot small milk inside satchet. It is well!

Change begins with you oh!