Like I was saying, Governor Babatunde Fashola has deprived me of my old Lagos and I need to carry out that protest soon or else he will destroy everything in sight.
Imagine, the other day, I decided to pay my old playground, Agege, a visit and what did I see?
That man has turned the notorious Pen Cinema into a modern town, robbing my good ‘area boys’ friends of their daily pocket money.
No more of “owo boys da?” “Owo sharman wa da?” The place is dotted with beautiful flowers, a modern round-about and free flowing traffic. What is this man thinking about sef?
Are we talking about Oshodi, Mushin, Ajegunle, Ojuelegba, Idi Oro, Ebute Metta, Apongbon, Ojota or Ketu? Flowers, gardens, parks, lights, everywhere!
He has destroyed and raped us of what made Lagos thick.
Then one morning, Fashola woke up with another brain storm and decided to send Molue buses out of the street!
Let me ask, what is wrong with that man? Our ubiquitous and omnipresent Molue are no more, no thanks to that lawyer. How does he want us to cope?
I may not even have been a patron of Molue buses but just watching how people struggle to get into the rickety, 1965 built buses, hawkers hustling to sell all kinds of goods inside the buses; especially the drug sellers who advertise how one drug can cure 200 diseases; where 49 people will be seating while 200 stand like fish in cans of sardine;
where traders fight for right of place to market their good; seeing people hanging on the tail of the buses, risking their lives; the drivers always drunk yellow teeth; the conductors always ready to fight; oh my God, Gov. Fashola has killed our daily dosage of fun.
Am I talking about the almighty Okadas, (commercial motorcyles)?
The undisputed kings of the roads, the small but mighty warriors that harass you off the roads, the scooters that can fly from Ikorodu to Apapa in 10 minutes flat!
I remember the day I had just 20 minutes to an appointment at Lekki and I had to get there by all means. I decided to take an Okada and boy, did this guy fly? The guy flew over the 15 or so kilometer Third Mainland Bridge in less than 7 minutes, with me behind him. I almost died of ‘air fright’.
By the time I got to Lekki, I was so dizzy I had to be taken to the hospital later in the day. The fact that some bad boys used the Okadas to rob is no good reason for Fashola to ban them.
What will happen to the ‘Okada Ward’ at the Orthopedic Hospital at Igbobi? The doctors will surely go on strike because of this.
This man has done his worse and I am not happy. He should bring back my old Lagos.
NB: (This write-up is just a sarcastic way of saying thank you Gov. Babatunde Fashola for sanitizing Lagos State)