Yes, anal orgasms are real — Here's how to have one

There's no doubt that anal sex still comes with a bit of (albeit sexy) taboo. Perhaps that's because stepping into the anal arena for the first time can be intimidating, to say the least. What the heck are you supposed to do down there? Is it painful? Enjoyable? And most of all: Is it actually possible to have an anal orgasm?

What is an anal orgasm?

For starters: Yes, anal sex can be enjoyable. And yes, anal orgasms are totally thing.

Simply put, an anal orgasm is climax achieved by stimulation of high-density nerve spots in the anus. "Orgasms are essentially the sudden release of sexual tension," explains Sheila Loanzon, M.D., an obstetrician and gynecologist, and a fellow of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology. "And there are different ways that an orgasm can be reached." Including anally.

"There are shared nerves from the anterior wall of the rectum to the vagina," Loanzon explains, "so for vagina owners, it may be possible for sexual arousal to occur from rectal stimulation." Plus, the legs of the clitoris (yeah, it's that big) extend all the way back into the anus, so it could result in some clit stimulation, too. And for anyone with a penis, anal stimulation triggers pleasure in the prostate area (that walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and the penis).

To locate those really sensitive areas, try pushing up towards the belly button (with a finger, dildo, penis, etc) the same way you'd target the G-spot in the vagina, says Alicia Sinclair, a certified sex educator and the CEO of butt plug purveyor b-Vibe. That way, "you have that same possibility of stimulating that shared central nerve area."

Whatever way you slice it, says Sinclair. "an orgasm is an orgasm. They may feel differently if they originate from different parts of the body. Each person’s going to react to that in a different way-according to their anatomy, what feels good in their body, and their personal preferences."

How to have an anal orgasm

Sinclair notes that enjoyable anal requires preparation, finesse, and practice. And she has some solid tips for hitting that anal "O."

Take it slow. Sinclair strongly cautions against going from "zero to penis," or dildo. Instead, start small and solo, something she refers to as "anal training."

"The best place to start is always your own finger, so that you can be the giver and receiver," Sinclair advises. Alternatively, you can use a slim plug or anal beads, if fingering your own butt hole sounds a little too close for comfort on the first go-round. Try some of these to get started:

Experiment with the feeling on your own. Then invite a partner to join once you've accustomed yourself to the new sensations, having pinpointed what you like and what you don't, advises Sinclair.

Opt for what you know you like. Whether it's a toy, penis, or finger you're receiving-and regardless of the genitalia you possess-you stand the best chance of anal orgasm if you incorporate the routine that usually gets you to the finish line.

Do you like vibration on your clit? Great, keep that vibrator stationed between your legs while your partner stimulates your anus. Do you like getting tied up before being penetrated? Grab the handcuffs and have your partner do their thing.

Try various techniques. While it's great to stick with what you know, it also doesn't hurt to add new things to your sexual repertoire. For example, try incorporating anal play into penetrative sex, recommends Sinclair. A butt plug or finger can make for an all-around tighter fit during penetrative sex, which can feel pleasurable to both partners.

Use lube, lube, and more lube: Even with anal masturbation, lubrication is key: You need to keep things slick, Sinclair says, because unlike the vagina, the anus does not self-lubricate. Without lube, "you will experience friction that doesn’t feel good, and it may also cause small tears inside the anal canal." While these aren't necessarily serious sex injuries, they're certainly not comfortable: If anal orgasm is the goal, you're going to want (read: need) to lubricate liberally.

Just make sure your lube doesn't contain a numbing agent, Sinclair cautions. For anyone who's anxious about an anal experience, a product that promises to spare your sensitive sphincter probably sounds great. But numbing your anus not only means you won't experience any of the orgasmic pleasure you set out to feel, it also means you won't register a rough session until it's too late and your poor tuchus reverts to recovery mode for days. In short, go all in, and enjoy the ride.