So, I was beside myself when notorious Bachelor Nation blogger Reality Steve tweeted a brand new batch of juicy spoilers for next week's Men Tell All reunion. And yes, this season's infamous, five-foot-eight villain Luke Parker is not getting away unscathed.
Warning: Don't scroll past my beloved John Paul Jones if you don't want to know what happens!
Luke P. sits in the hot seat with Chris Harrison for two whole hours.
If you had any doubts that Luke P. would appear on Men Tell All (he is headed to fantasy suites this week, after all), he most certainly isand Reality Steve says it'll be in a different format than you've seen on the show before. Usually, the special opens up with all the guys sitting on stage, but this year Luke is getting all the spotlight. (Huh, now when has that happened before?)
(MTA SPOILER): One MAJOR thing different with the MTA this year. The show started with just Chris Harrison and Luke P on the hot seat. And they talked FOR 2 HOURS. Obviously it will be heavily edited, but it wasn't til they were done that the other guys were brought on stage. RealitySteve (@RealitySteve) July 13, 2019
And if there's anyone out there hoping Luke would get some sort of redemption moment, you're outta luck. "Apparently it didn't go well for him," Steve tweeted . "Chris asked him if he was sorry or regretted anything and he said he was sorry for holding Hannah to such a high standard and being a perfect woman." Oh, okayyyyyyyyy.
The guys bash on Luke for yet another hour.
Once Chris was done with his heart to, uh, heart, the rest of the guys came out on stage and went at Luke P. themselves.
To quote the one and only Justin Bieber: "Is it too late now to say sorry?" Apparently, it is for Luke...
(MTA SPOILERS): The guys were frustrated all night because they wanted Luke to take responsibility for his actions and he never did. His apology was hollow and they kept jumping on him for not owning up to what he did. RealitySteve (@RealitySteve) July 13, 2019
Hannah apologizes to America for keeping Luke P. around for so long.
The Bachelorette has kept it super real all season long, and Men Tell All is no exception. According to Steve , Hannah faces the cameras directly to apologize for keeping Luke aroundand says she hopes she never has to speak about him ever again after this.
(MORE MTA SPOILERS): Both the guys and Hannah were non stop on Luke. At one point Hannah said that Luke isnt smart enough to manipulate her, hes just the embodiment of toxic masculinity and thats who he is to his core.. RealitySteve (@RealitySteve) July 13, 2019
And while Hannah may not have the best taste in men (ahem, Jed), at least she's still got a taste for TV-worthy drama.
Luke walks off stage during a commercial break, never to return.
What's unclear is if Luke had planned to leave the whole time, if he was asked to leave, or something else, but Steve claims producers waved him off stage during a break. Either way, it's unlikely anyone missed him too much.
(MTA SPOILERS): Not sure if Luke really had to leave to go somewhere, but Chris Harrison definitely framed it as he left. Said "Luke left the building to catch a plane or something. Who cares!" RealitySteve (@RealitySteve) July 13, 2019
Now for the fun stuff: It was definitely Peter in the windmill, y'all.
You know that clip that everyone can't stop talking about , where Hannah declares: "I f*cked in a windmill, and guess what? We did it a second time!" Most of Bachelor Nation, including Reality Steve, were pretty convinced that she was talking about Jed. But Men Tell All will put the speculation to rest, finally confirming that it was charming pilot Peter Weber getting busy in the windmill.
(MTA SPOILERS): In Monday's episode, you'll see that Peter is Windmill Sex guy. And there is a condom in the room that they joke about since he was the one that had it in the console of his car. RealitySteve (@RealitySteve) July 13, 2019
There's a good chance Mike could be getting a Bachelor edit.
Maybe this is just my wishful thinking, but Steve says Mike Johnson was the most popular guy "by far" on stage during Men Tell All. Plus, he gets his moment in the hot seat (as do future Bachelor In Paradise contestants Cam Ayala and John Paul Jones).
If I may, here are a few reasons why Mike should be The Bachelor: He was an absolute angel to Hannah all season. He raves about how much he loves his family nonstop. He got a favorable edit. He's extremely cute. The fans love him. Feels like a slam dunk, no? Everyone tweet #MikeForBachelor and manifest this, please.
And in the meantime, tune in to the Men Tell All special next Monday, July 22, at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.
