17 Easy Things To Do When You’re Feeling Lonely

But, what is loneliness, exactly? Simply put, "it's the discrepancy between what you have and what you want from your relationships," says Stephanie Cacioppo , PhD, an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at the University of Chicago, who specializes in the study of loneliness and social cognition.

Its not necessarily about being physically surrounded by peoplebecause you might feel especially lonely in a crowdbut about your mentality. When you feel lonely, its usually because you arent quite satisfied with what you have, whether its in that moment or throughout your life, Cacioppo explains. And until you're able to pinpoint and then address what you're dissatisfied with, you'll feel isolated, left out, and in need of companionship.

The upside: Feeling lonely isn't necessarily a bad thing, Cacioppo notes. It's a reminder that something's off about your social environment and that you need to prioritize your happiness.

Chances are, though, you're not too grateful for loneliness while you're experiencing it. In fact, the feeling makes you more likely to interpret reality negatively, which can bring on a ton of self-loathing and self-criticism, she says. The key to turning your mood around? Adjusting your social lens to one thats more positive.

Easier said than done, right? Thought you might say that. But here are 17 things you can actually do to feel a little less lonely, a little more confident, and way more connected.

1. Admit you're lonely.

As with a lot of things, the first step to moving forward is getting real about what you're going through. Most people try to deny they're lonely, or they assume they must just be anxious or depressed. Why? "Because there's a lot of stigma surrounding loneliness," says Ami Rokach, PhD, clinical psychologist, course director at York University, and author of Loneliness, Love And All Thats Between .

Many people are ashamed to admit they feel lonely because they associate the experience with social isolation and otherness, he adds. But refusing to come to terms with your loneliness means putting off your chance to do something about it.

2. Remind yourself it's not just you.

"We're not alone in our loneliness," Rokach explains.

Now, this doesn't mean you should necessarily lean into the loneliness simply because others are dealing with it, too, Rokach warns. It's a great opportunity to remember that, just like anyone else, you have the power to get yourself out of this situation.

Working from home more often these days? Here's how to feel less lonely while you're at it:

It's harder to feel alone when you "have a plan and a purpose," she explains. So, set alarms for an early-morning meditation, a phone call with your sister, and an evening face mask. Pre-planning them will instill you with a sense of control, too. Once you've come up with a schedule, stick to it as much as you can. It'll be tough sometimes, but as long as you take it one day at a time, the structured routine will feel more and more natural, she adds.

12. Go for a walk.

It gets your body moving, gives you a chance to clear your mind, and even offers opportunities to run into a neighbor for a quick chatall reasons why Rokach is a big fan. Even if you don't interact with anyone, studies show walks have significant effects on mood. Just a few minutes outside can stop your mood from worsening and can help combat feelings of dread that loneliness brings on.

13. Pick up the phone.

Call someone you love and who cares about you. Rather than exchanging the same old how are yous and fines, actively listen to and really engage with the person on the other line. When they mention something about their lives, ask them for the backstory and let them talk. (Need some inspo? These 200 questions can help spark a meaningful conversation.)

"People are thirsty for this kind of interaction," Rokach says. Everyone wants to be heard, so give someone in your life the gift of really listening to them , and let their stories take you out of your lonely headspace for a while.

14. Talk to a mental health professional.

A psychologist won't be able to bring you out of your lonelinessonly you can do thatbut "they can help you come to terms with the situation," explains Rokach. They'll remind you of how much power you have to move forward from this by helping you pinpoint what in your life might be off-kilter and contributing to your loneliness. Once you isolate the cause, a therapist will help you come up with a game plan to address it.

15. Take a social risk.

If you're feeling lonely because you don't believe any of your relationships are substantive, now's your chance to do something about it. Yeah, you might get rejected, but eventually you'll find a someone or even a whole tribe who ~gets~ you.

Start off somewhere you feel comfortable. Take your workout class, for example: Approach the person who high fives you after each segment or notices when you miss a class. Strike up a conversation as best you can, and you may just hit it off. (Yes, new friends !) Stuck at home? Try reaching out to an old friend via Instagram DM to see what's new with them.

16. Turn your loneliness into solitude.

While they might sound the same, solitude is different because it's a choice, explains Rokach. You could let your loneliness consume you (let's face it, sometimes you can't help it), or you can turn your loneliness into solitudetime spent alone doing something that's meaningful to you.

Maybe you express how you're feeling by painting, writing a short story, doing a puzzle, learning a dance routine, or recording a cover of that song you can't get out of your head. Since loneliness can stick around for a while, it helps to have an outlet.

Btw, at-home workouts are a totally WH-approved outlet for solitude, too.

17. Don't busy yourself.

"Many people try to run away from loneliness," says Rokach. "They'll busy themselves with needless things like second jobs or extra hours at work when they don't need the money as a way to stifle loneliness." That's not the right move. It might help you forget you're lonely for a bit, but you'll only end up feeling worse in the end.

The key is to slow down for a bit and focus on something you really love or something you've always wanted to do but never did because sticking to the mundane won't help much.