Why women get confused and how men choose a wife

A long time ago, we had zero choice.

Confused woman

Let me rephrase that, a long time ago, our ancestors had only very few options.

If they wanted to travel, they had to trek or use a horse. If they wanted to eat, roasting meat was their only option and if they wanted to drink, they had only herbs or water.

Fast forward to today, we live in a different world. With the snap of our fingers, we could have a barrage of options at our feet. We can travel by airplanes, cars, ships, boats, and so on.

We can have noodles for lunch, rice for supper and bread for breakfast. For drinks, we have different brands of bottled water, and hundreds of soda drinks to choose from.

It's a great time to be alive.

Sadly, we implement this abundance of choices in our relationships. Rather than stick with one partner, we date several of them as an insurance policy. If Tunde messes up, Dapo will be there. If Sarah messes up, Ngozi will be here.

This might seem like a good idea but in the end, having multiple partners affects women the most.

When women have too many partners, they get confused because these men have different characteristics. Tunde is richer than Seyi but Seyi is more handsome. Charles isn't romantic but he has a British passport. James on the other hand is romantic and handsome but he's poorer than a church rat and then there's Dayo, extremely good in bed, lavish in spending but he's a serial cheater. I forgot to add that Seyi is a Muslim, Charles is catholic, Tunde doesn't go to church and James is a Pentecostal man.

Now the woman is utterly discombobulated. So what does she do? She runs to her pastors. Pastor A tells her she would marry Charles, Pastor B says it's Dayo, and the prophet says it's James. This adds to her confusion so what does she do? She visits an Imam. Imam says it's Seyi, but of course Seyi is a Muslim so he'd say it's Seyi. She tries another Imam, this time they tell her that she'll marry the 3rd person she's dating.

She starts to calculate, who's the 3rd? Is it the third person to ask her out or the 3rd person she said yes too or the 3rd person on her list?

This cycle goes on and on till she says yes to anybody who proposes, be it Seyi, James, Charles, anyone, she doesn't care.

Men on the other hand have the luxury of choosing. Men are the ones who propose, they're the ones who ultimately decide who they get married to. And so men have a filter. They may have several partners, but in the end, they use this filter to select who they propose to.

What's this filter? It's simple.

Men pick a wife based on three criteria

  • Respect
  • Trust
  • Chemistry & Compatibility

The man thinks to himself, does this woman respect me? Is she rude to me and my friends? Is she rude to my family?

Then he asks, can I trust her? Will she cheat on me? Can she handle financial decisions in the home? Can I trust her judgement?

And finally, he asks, am I free with her and is she free with me? Does she get my jokes? Do we have the same values? Do we have the same idea about money? Do we have incredible sex?

If a woman ticks all the boxes or at least most of the boxes, then ladies and gentlemen, the man has found his wife.

---

Funmi is a Writer, Thinker and Marketing buff. Like Mark Manson, he hopes to give life advice that doesn't suck.

----

Pulse Contributors is an initiative to highlight diverse journalistic voices. Pulse Contributors do not represent the company Pulse and contribute on their own behalf.

JOIN OUR PULSE COMMUNITY!

Unblock notifications in browser settings.

Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or:

Email: eyewitness@pulse.ng

Recommended articles

Here's how to re-balance your vag*na’s pH levels and keep it healthy

Here's how to re-balance your vag*na’s pH levels and keep it healthy

Natural foods to help you last longer in bed

Natural foods to help you last longer in bed

7 reasons why you should avoid skipping meals

7 reasons why you should avoid skipping meals

What to do when someone says they want s*x without commitment

What to do when someone says they want s*x without commitment

OPPO Reno7: The portrait expert powered by cutting-edge hardware and artificial intelligence

OPPO Reno7: The portrait expert powered by cutting-edge hardware and artificial intelligence

9 dangers of being addicted that is taking a toll on your life

9 dangers of being addicted that is taking a toll on your life

5 common types of skin diseases

5 common types of skin diseases

5 surprising facts about obesity

5 surprising facts about obesity

5 foods that can help boost your mood

5 foods that can help boost your mood