‘#WomenTalkSexByPulse’ is Pulse’s weekly series designed to capture the thoughts of everyday Nigerian women on sexual health, pleasure, and what women expect good sex to be and feel like.
Women Talk Sex: ‘For me, coitus is the answer to all things”
Sometimes, sex, instead of money, answereth all things...
The subject of this week’s edition of #WomenTalkSexByPulse seems to have hacked all the health benefits of sex and it looks like it’s working just fine for her. She talks to us about this special form of self care and gives women experiential tips on how to shoot for sex without missing. Read on.
What’s your recollection of your first time?
Painful, well-planned, an informed decision.
About that well-planned bit, please keep talking
So the first time it happened for me was in 200L. I hadn’t even kissed much or done anything before then. I always knew I wanted to wait till I was in uni, away from my parents. But 100L was a lot so I waited till 200L when I already felt like a big girl who could really take care of herself and handle herself. You know, omoge campus and stuff.
Fair enough. So how did your sex life proceed from there?
Had a steady supply of knacks in uni and it was with the same guy I just mentioned. I liked it that way. It limited the possibility of having my gist spread, it kept my body count down, and I also didn’t have to deal with these ashy n***as. That was the best motivation for me sha. Plus my partner also grew into the role. I can say we both grew into it. Our sex life became mad in the 3 years before we graduated. So what was I looking for? We weren’t dating though, just sex.
A steady 3-year FWB. I'm with that
Yeah. He actually wanted us to date - these Nigerian men always want to ruin everything. But I didn’t need any of that. I was OK with sleeping with just him but I didn’t stop him from doing it with other people inasmuch as he told me about it so I could protect myself.
Nope. At least that was what he said and that’s what I chose to believe. It was actually plausible sha, because he kept thinking he could finesse me into a relationship by doing a lot of these commitment stuff. It’s actually a miracle I didn’t give in. LOL.
Women are wicked
Lol. Please o. I am not one of them.
Na so. What’s your post-uni sex life been like though?
Still hustling my orgasms steady o. For a while - especially during service year, it was mostly self-pleasure for me because I needed me-time after cutting off that my guy of three years. But knowing myself, I just ensured to get two sex toys for that year.
I am actually heavy on sexual pleasure. For me, ehn, coitus and orgasms are like the answer to all things. Having a bad day? Good sex can help. Can’t sleep at night? A quick orgasm will fix it. Headache? Menstrual cramps? Fighting your best friend and angry? Horny? Omo, there’s nothing I’ve not used sex and orgasms for. Even when I was in uni, same thing!
My partner knew sef and he thought it was cute. When I tried to initiate, he would sometimes ask: is this one horny sex or sadness relief sex? We used to joke about it all the time. So yeah, I can be like that.
Fair enough. You didn’t mention what happened after service
Oh. I met someone so I started having relationship sex and stuff. Been in like three relationships since then. I rarely have sex outside of relationships these days.
Can’t knock that. Would you improve anything in your sex life now though?
Apart from the fact that I am currently single and we are approaching the rainy season, I think I’m fine.
LOL. Incoming weather-for-two got you rethinking your priorities
I swear. Jokes aside though, I think I’m ready for a new relationship. Yes, for the sex and for the whole package. I’m ready.
You mentioned initiating sex earlier
Oh yes, I do. My first partner liked it a lot and I was really comfortable with him so that helped.
How would you advise women who struggle with initiating?
Uhmmm, I’d say don’t overthink it. I mean, you should clearly be comfortable with anyone you’re sleeping with so that should help a little bit. Also, many men like it when you initiate and they rarely say no lol. Just do it honestly, even if you are feeling shy. Just go for it. It’ll get better from there. But you totally should. It’s hot and kinda gives you power sef.
Dope. Before we round this up, have you had any dangerous, hilarious, weird or cringe encounters?
Don’t know where this falls but I nearly had sex with someone in NYSC camp. We were making out in the dark and rubbing up on each other heavily. When I brought out his D, I could feel that it was really big and I became worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I didn’t chicken out sha. Wanted to test myself. Let me not lie, I was apprehensive. But I think my mama’s prayers were working because this guy busted while I was merely stroking him. It wasn’t even long o.
I guess he was mad horny or maybe it had been long for him. He was sha so embarrassed and kept apologising and shalaye-ing. I was just saying “it's ok, it’s ok. These things happen.” Meanwhile in my mind I was sighing a big sigh of relief. I still think about that occurrence occasionally sha. Wonder what could have been.
LOL. You live to fight some other day.
In the words of Professor Zlatan, “better days are coming, *ma wo’be”
LMAOOO. Please please, please!
LOL. Rate your sex life over 10
6.5 oh. I need my orgasms to return from war. I’m starving.
Liked this edition? There's more where it came from. Just click HERE and check back every Friday for more stories.
JOIN OUR PULSE COMMUNITY!
Eyewitness? Submit your stories now via social or: