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Women Talk S3x: 'I hate that sexual passion doesn’t last beyond 1 year'

May 21st 2022, 12:25:05 pm

People take their foot off the gas and then you start getting very mid sex.

Women Talk Sex - The 'Temporary Passion' edition

‘#WomenTalkS3xByPulse’ is Pulse’s weekly series designed to capture the thoughts of everyday Nigerian women on s3xual health, pleasure, and what women expect good s3x to be and feel like. Feel free to fill this tiny form if you'd like to chat with us and feature on this series.

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How long should the ‘honeymoon’ period of a s3xual relationship last before things reach a lull? The babe on #WomenTalkS3x this week thinks the period should be longer than one year. Her partner is cool with one year though, and that has been causing her mild palpitations for months. She wants the red-hot excitement to continue and would stop at nothing to get it. Read on

Tell me an unpopular opinion of sex that you believe in

Anal sex is absolute rubbish and people who do it only do it out of peer pressure or to fit in some idea of liberality. I don’t care what anyone says. That thing is from hell and there is no amount of lube that can make it pleasurable. Also, people in open sexual relationships are only setting themselves up for big fat L’s. These are two hills I am willing to die on.

Safe to say you have been in some exciting situations then?

LMAO. Not really. I’ve never had an open relationship obviously. I don’t think I can willfully share a partner with anyone. My heart will just be shattered. I am protective like that. And for the anal sex bit, my eyes have seen things. Ozoemena, please. Never again.

Lol. Oya tell me how your sex life is going at the moment

In a long term relationship. It’s been 3 years so I guess you can say it feels like having married sex at this point.

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That’s not in a bad sense I hope?

Well, it depends on how you view it sha. You obviously become very comfortable with your partner at that stage. You have seen them at their weakest, fought them over the craziest and most trivial things, and you guys have just been through a lot of things together. And then of course, you have done all the styles imaginable and the sex has become a lot more about intimacy than trying to prove a point. It’s can be nice but sometimes, it can give room for some very annoying, underwhelming sex.

How do you mean?

Think of it this way: by the end of six months, if you’ve been having sex with someone regularly, then you’re likely to have done almost all there is to do. I mean, what could you possibly have in your repertoire that you would have not done by then?

Six months?

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LOL. OK, let’s say tops, one year. At that point, there is a tendency to relax. I don’t even know if I’m making sense but in my experience, what I have found is that people usually take their foot off the gas and at that stage, you’ll likely start getting very mid sex.

Oh?

Wait. Is that not what usually happens with everyone? Or am I tripping?

Actually, sorry I interrupted. Just keep going

Well, I think things definitely dip as time progresses. The effort needed to keep things as hot as before will also need to increase. And that’s the thing, I fear it’s too early for us to be having that issue. My man thinks it’s just fine. It bothers me sometimes sha but I guess that’s the way things eventually get. Three years is enough time to relax.

But calming down and having mid-sex don’t always have to be the same

I guess. But what can you do when you are the only one who seems to be bothered about it at all. It gets tiring, you know. Normally you’d expect that the man would be the one annoyed that things are dipping in the bedroom.

Well… that is not particularly set in stone

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True sha. But pardon me for thinking that my man would be the one trying to keep our sexual fire going for as long as possible. I really didn’t think I’d end up being the one fighting for hot fok. Lmao. But see my life.

LMAO. Sorry about that. But let me get you clearly – is this a matter of regularity or sex just being bad

I think it’s more of entering a pattern, a sort of uninteresting routine. It’s no longer giving that mad, good vibes of the early days when you are just discovering each other’s bodies. Think of it like chasing a high and not being able to find it anymore. And your partner is not even as gingered to try as you are.

I feel you

Yeah. I think that’s what it is for me. The sex is not bad, bad like that, it’s just not giving that fresh vibes it gave at the start. And I refuse to believe that it’s totally gone after just one year. That’s the conflict, so to speak. My man is cool with it, I am not.

Problem

Big one oh. It’s not disturbing our relationship so I know still good — and that’s what will help us find a solution to it, even if I have to do it all by myself. If that man thinks I’m leaving the issue, he’s a big joker.

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Lol. I love the energy

I no come this life to suffer please.

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