Why you're bored in your relationship; and how to make it fun again

Relationships get honeymoon periods just as marriages do. Every new relationship would very likely go through that period when partners are still so into each other, when their smiles are brightest and everyone is putting their best foot forward, bending over to please the other, going the extra mile to make sure the other person see the best version of them.

Eventually, months roll by and the couple would settle into a pattern. Time spent together and full disclosure put partners in a comfortable place and while that is not a bad thing, it could lead to some form of boredom in the relationship.

“One of the primary reasons [for boredom] is that, the longer the relationship is, the more likely we are to settle into fixed patterns,” says Dr. Laura Dabney, a relationship psychiatrist.

You don’t want to be in a place where you are miserable every time [Credit: Shutterstock] Pulse Nigeria

In isolation, time and ‘settling’ into a relationship is not what causes boredom. There is more to it.

“In my experience, one does not ‘suddenly’ lose interest in their relationship,” Dr. Dabney said of the pattern.

“Typically, changes in the relationship takes a course similar to starting a relationship. It takes time and many events for it to change.”

ALSO READ: Why good sex keeps people in bad relationships

In other words, your relationship can maintain the same level of happiness it had in the beginning for the long haul. The feelings may no longer be new, but they can be just as exciting for you if you do not let them die.

However, if your relationship is already experiencing boredom, that does not have to be the end of the road. You can still get the affection, good feeling and positivity back to what it was in the beginning or something pretty close.

The longer the relationship is, the more likely we are to settle into fixed patterns, [Credit Youtube] Pulse Nigeria

First thing to do is to start paying attention to each other again, and reignite the things you used to do to make them so happy. Appreciation also plays a major key, you can’t afford to take your partner for granted no matter how long it’s been.

“Forgetting why we love [a partner] may be the result of taking their presence in our lives for granted,” Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent couples’ therapist told Elite Daily.

“In other words, lack of gratitude is a key reason why some people get bored in even the best of relationships.”

You don’t want to be in a place where you are miserable every time your partner can’t entertain you or be present–that’s too much pressure.