No matter how similar two relationships look on the surface, there are still many reasons why comparisons shouldn't be drawn between them.
Another way would be by unfavourably comparing your relationship with other relationships.
The very fact that you and your partner/spouse understand each other perfectly, the idea that it’s just the both of you living the best life and experiencing the love journey without any external, negative influence… that’s one of the joys of a relationship.
There is this sweetness to the whole thing when you understand each other to such extent that you seem to draw the same breath and function with the same brain. That’s the peak of a union, the elevated realm of togetherness that every relationship aims at, and it is very achievable.
However, this will only be possible only if you do not burst the bubble somewhere along the line by doing something toxic or dangerous to the growth or longevity of the relationship; something like making comparisons that are needless and obviously adverse to your partner's happiness, confidence and your relationship's continuous existence.
Every wise partner recognizes that every relationship is suitable only to the people in it, and no matter how close or similar two relationships might look on the surface, there are many disparities between them. Your relationship is different from all others, and that exactly is the beauty of it which needs to be treasured and cherished.
This is why you should never engage in constant comparisons of your relationship with another relationships. Doing that has the potential of ruining everything you have built.
It is unwise, to say the very least, to even look at other relationships and try to pattern yours exactly in that manner.
Truly, there could be admirable things in that other relationship that you’d love to imbibe in yours, and that’s just fine, but thoughtlessly designing and modelling every single aspect your love life after this or that relationship will likely strangle it to a painful death.
It has the tendency of squeezing and wringing out every drop of joy you and your partner have built between you, and once the joy leaves, expect the love's demise, too.
That's because you cannot fully tell what is happening in that other relationship. All you see is only what the couple wants you to see. So don’t be fooled, all that glitters is not gold.
Don’t let those social media posts have you feeling that your relationship is inadequate; the couple might go back home to have a nasty fight just immediately after that photoshoot.
Giving room for comparisons will make you forget how good your partner really is, it will often bring you down, you’ll most like hurt your partner by constantly complaining, you will see nothing but the negatives in your relationship, and lastly, it is nothing but a waste of time and energy!
Comparisons have the capacity to frustrate you and make you and your partner unhappy to the point where you will not only consider breaking up, but you will actually do it.
And most times, only after you have lost what's valuable would you realise that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
McShayn's Love Thread is a weekly column that aims at explaining modern relationship practices, and tries to demystify relationship myths while proffering useful advice for stronger relationships and modern marriages. You can read other articles here.