Why do I feel resentful in my long distance relationship?

I've lately begun to feel boxed in by the relationship with someone I rarely see.

Why do I feel resentful in my long distance relationship? [Credit: Glamour]

Dear Bukky,

I've been in a relationship for 5 years with the most amazing lady I've ever met.

Admittedly, it’s not been easy as it’s been a long distance relationship and we only see each other no more than thrice a year.

But since last year, I've been having swelling feelings of dissatisfaction. The problem isn't her as she's devoted and passionate about us; the problem is the relationship in itself.

We've endured a lot together and are willing to keep at it. It's just that I feel I want more. With the constant jeering and insults, I've lately begun to feel boxed in by the relationship with someone I rarely see.

What do I do? She's constantly at work and our schedules never lap. I love her deeply still.

Can one love someone and yet, have a resentment for the relationship they have?__________

Dear reader,

You mentioned something about ‘constant jeering and insults.’ If that is from your partner, I think it is easy to see where the resentment might be coming from.

Coupled with the fact that you rarely see each other, I think everyone would feel the way you are feeling right now.

If you still love her but feel a resentment towards the relationship, then it has to be something she’s doing wrong. You could love someone and have issues with some of the things they do.

You’re not alone in that situation. What makes yours a little complicated is the distance.

Admittedly, it might be a little difficult communicating your worries and concerns because you rarely see her and your schedules rarely lap as you said.

But if you ever intend to make this work, you have to find a way to keep the communication frequent. I suggest daily. And make it varied and as honest as possible every single time.

Tell her your worries, lay everything bare. Also make it easy for her express herself without fear of backlash.

Communication is what seems lacking and until you find a way to work a way around your individual schedules and communicate honestly and very regularly, you might not be able to salvage this relationship.

____________

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So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?

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