Communication is the bedrock on which all solid, longlasting relationships are built. Communication is the powerhouse from where happy relationships get their positive energy. Communication is everything you need to stay connected to your partner and lose touch.
There, above, is all many people have always known about communication. But how exactly is communication supposed to work? How do you put communication to best use in order to achieve the model relationship you have always imagined in your head?
The simple answer is in staying curious, sensitive and asking questions. Relentlessly, intentionally and wisely.
It is important to stay curious in your relationship because many times, once the initial thrill of a relationship thrills wears off, there is a risk for you and your partner to enter into a comfort zone where effort dips and you just cruise on in the relationship.
Now this comfort zone is not necessarily a bad thing. It is actually good to get comfortable enough with your partner. It is great to reach that level of trust, satisfaction, peace and all other positive things. However, it is important to not get too carried away to the point of losing your curiosity. Becoming too comfortable to the point of becoming insensitive to your partner is something you should never allow.
Knowing your partner so much is only useful to the intent that you can tell a change in their moods as soon as it happens, you can tell when their laughter is not so genuine, you can tell when they are trying to mask something, when they have a trick up their sleeves, when they are bothered about something, and so on and so forth.
Becoming too comfortable could morph into complacence and carelessness. This is what happens when you see your partner but no longer see them. You see them, do things with them, have sex, go out with them, do everything with them but you do not notice them anymore. It is a wrong place to be in a relationship.
Retaining your curiosity about your partner helps you stay on your toes, it helps you keep up with your boo. You notice the changes, you notice their growth, their changing likes and dislikes, you notice the way their preferences begin to change over time… you just stay focused on them. It is such an important thing!
This is because when you are with someone for the long haul, change is expected. 15 years down the line, they will likely not be the same person you met anymore.
Heck, even 5 years is more than enough time for someone to grow into their own, and become a fine-tuned version of the person you met all those years ago.
It is even more important to stay curious because people do not only grow into the character you knew them for, sometimes, they change totally… for the worse. Staying sensitive to them helps you detect those terrible changes on time. It helps you call them to order and see how they want to deal with it. It helps you know early enough when an erring partner has set his mind on a path you can’t follow them on. So you can detach from him or her and let them sail away alone. No time wasting, no wasted years.
Whether you are in a relationship or married, staying curious is such an absolutely need part of communication with your partner’s personality and if done well, you can build a strong tower of understanding just by setting this curiosity as the foundation.