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Love Thursday Whose fault is it when cheating happens in a relationship?

On whose head should the fault of cheating rest?

  • Published: , Refreshed:
Whose fault is it when cheating happens in a relationship play

Kiss and tell.

(Capital Kenya)

When partners find the balance in their relationship upset by cheating, who should get the blame, and on whose head should fault rest?

Picture this - someone steps outside his marriage or relationship to find what he should be getting from no one but his partner, shouldn’t the fault be his in totality?

The cheater bears the responsibility for cheating

Generally, cheaters get the blame for their philandering because it’d be illogical for the person aggrieved to have to bear the responsibility for someone else’s actions and indiscretions.

Some cheaters are just insensitive and inconsiderate in their decision to step out of the commitment they have with their significant other.

Cheating is not an event, it is a series of actions and some people do not bother to check the impact that their wrong choices would on their partner and relationship. They just go all out and do as they please without a care in the world for the consequences of their actions.

Why your partner will end up cheating on you play Who is to blame when cheating occurs in a relationship? (B-Metro)


So on the face of it and in this context, it does not make sense to blame anyone but those who stepped out of their commitment zone but then, that’s only on the face of it…

ALSO READ: 5 classic excuses Nigerian men give for cheating

Joint responsibility for cheating

When you dig a little deeper into some cheating scenarios and what drove happy men and women into cheating, it becomes difficult to place all the blame solely at these people's feet.

Cheating does not always happen in a vacuum. So in some cases, people cheated would need to wake up and smell the coffee - all the blame is not always for the cheater.

Why don't I have feelings for my girlfriend? play The blame for unfaithfulness is not always for the cheater. (Essence)


People like to generalize every situation under the theoretic rule that the cheater is always at fault. However, in reality, it is never as cut and dried as that; there are often gray areas. While the cheater surely gets some blame, the person cheated on could also be at fault in some way.

A little introspection would often show the cheated that they consciously or unconsciously left gaps in the relationship – gaps of communication, affection and other bonding activities – and it is through these unguarded spaces that their partners fell into the heavy waves of temptation that would later overwhelm them and become their undoing.

Reasons why celibacy before marriage remains a brilliant idea play Everyone in a relationship needs to take the success or failure of it as a joint responsibility. (Citi FM)


We already listed things that make people cheat here, and while this is not to validate cheating, it only just shows that everyone in a relationship needs to take the success or failure of it as a joint responsibility. You’re in it together, afterall.

Your actions and inactions could make it a little easier or very difficult for your partner to fall into a temptation he or she has been struggling with outside their commitment zone.

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