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Love And Sex What happens when your spouse wants a sexual act you don't like?

Do you have to give in to every sexual thing your partner desires?

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The touch choice to make - money or fantastic sex? play What happens when your spouse wants a sexual act you don't like? (iStock)

We have discussed here on the importance of sexual compatibility in relationships and marriages. But how about a marriage situation where a partner suddenly picks interest in a sexual activity that the other finds disgusting and would rather not participate in?

Do you have to play catch up with every new development in your partner's sexual orientation and drive? It would be easy to say yes to this question. It actually sounds like the logical thing to do, especially when you are married.

Obviously because when people marry, there is a presumption that they'll be having sex with only each other till the end of time. Also, it is advisable to have an experimental and adventurous sex life so things don't get boring and repetitive in the bedroom.

But then again, are you supposed to embark on every sexual adventure your spouse suggests to you? For instance, what if she starts asking for anal sex, or he starts demanding threesomes or voyeurism? Do you give in just to satisfy  that craving regardless of how you feel? The answer to this is actually not so straightforward.

Ladies, are you giving just sex to your boo on Valentine’s day? play Are you supposed to embark on every sexual adventure your spouse suggests to you? (Shutterstock)


Even though you are meant to satisfy your partner sexually, you still have the choice and discretion to say no when it is something you don't like, or when it is something you consider unhealthy.

ALSO READ: Here is why you need regular sex assessment in your relationship

However, there's a way to go about it so that you don't hurt their feelings and give room for sexual frustration and resentment. So when your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend comes up with something they'd want to try in the bedroom and you are not down for that, you have to look for the best way to let them know why it is not a good idea and how it is not the most healthy thing for you  - or them.

My husband masturbates but refuses to have sex with me play If your partner insists on the sexual act despite an obvious discomfort or unhealthiness of it, you should see a marriage counsellor immediately. (FlirtMag)


It would also be great to have facts, figures and genuine research materials to actually corroborate your fears and reasons for your refusal. A logical partner will not force you to do something that is harmful to your health.

Another option you have will be to try out that thing he or she is proposing. Yes, you may have fears about it but if you can take adequate precautions, you should let it happen. If it turns out to be terrible, you can cease having it.

If it repeatedly turns out terrible and uncomfortable but your partner still keeps insisting on it, you should see a marriage counsellor or sex therapist.

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