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Relationships What’s the fuss about dating a younger man?

Believing that women should not date a younger man falls squarely in the region of unneeded traditional views.

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What’s the fuss about dating a younger man? play

A happy couple

(Modern Ghana)

Every time there’s a love story that reached a sad end because of the couple’s unconventional age difference, it just leaves one wondering: what’s the fuss about women dating, being in a relationship with or even marrying a younger guy?

Really, what’s the big deal about an adult woman being attracted to an adult man who just happens to be few [and maybe not so few] years younger than her?

I’ll tell you – there’s none. There’s absolutely no reason why a relationship between a woman and a younger guy can’t work. The only thing that stands in the way of such relationship is social constructs and nothing else.

Take Kemi [not her real name] for example;

“I just clocked 25 this February and my boyfriend will be 25 by October this year. I already have cleared my mind over our age difference but he came to visit and when he left my mum asked if I’m not older than him, which I denied.

“Right now I’m feeling really doubtful about the relationship. I feel it'll probably not work.

“He hasn't proposed marriage yet, but I don’t know if my family will accept him.”

I'm older than my boyfriend and it bothers me play It's sad that people have to give up beautiful relationships over something as trivial as age. (CSD)

Freida [not her real name] has a similar story. She’s three years older than her boyfriend who loves her and ticks all the important compatibility boxes for her but she’s perplexed because the relationship seems doomed to fail for nothing but their differing times of birth.

“I'm 28 years old and three years older than my guy, but he loves me sincerely and treats me right. However this age gap keeps me worried,” she says.

Much ado over nothing

There really is no watertight, sensible, logical reason why a higher age difference between a woman and man should be the thing standing between their being together.

“People say if you date an older woman she won’t respect you, and that you’ll likely never reason in the same way,” says Banji, 26.

play French President, Emmanuel Macron is 40 and his wife is over 64. This has not stopped them from being together. (Lebanese)

Other supposed reasons why an older woman and a younger man should not date include the outrageous belief that she would ‘use your glory,’ and that people would perceive you as a gold digger.

But here’s the thing: a woman [or man] does not have to be older than you to be disrespectful. Some men with the conventional younger wives will tell you this.

ALSO READ: Women, 7 things that attract men to you most

Also, dating a woman who is about five years older puts you both in the same peer group and likely to connect on a similar wavelength. And if it is a woman who is older, say between 10-15 years or above, you can be fine if you have an understanding and devise a working formula for the relationship.

Really, when there’s a will, there’ll always be a way. So whatever the problem is, if two people love each other they’ll find a way around it. And they should be left alone to do so.

Unhappy girlfriend play Everyone deserves to love who they want. (Negromanosphere)

Age is nothing but a number

The idea that an obvious chemistry, undeniable compatibility and blossoming relationship should be hacked down just because of age is just absurd.

Holding a view that a  woman should not date a younger man falls squarely in the region of archaic, outdated and unneeded traditional views – such as a woman should never chase a man, an African man should never be found in the kitchen, etc - that no longer have a place in a modern society.

Thriving relationships excel on foundations of trust, being considerate and sensitive, care, genuine affection, love, sexual compatibility, shared values, commitment, etc.

When you find these things in a guy, age should really not matter, especially when all you have is a gap of 10 years or less.

Peter Okoye & Lola Omotayo celebrate 4th wedding anniversary play Just ask Peter P Square and Lola Omotayo. (Instagram/Lola Omotayo)

Just ask Peter P Square and Lola Omotayo, who have an age difference of 10 years between them and have remained together since 2005.

That is actually amazing a feat, given the apparent dislike for their kind of unconventional marriage. To put their success in context, I'll leave you to think of all the marriages that have failed before the 5-year mark despite the man being older than the woman.

Obviously, this shows that no one can tell you where to find your happiness, and you should never allow them force their idea of perfection on you.

You do not have to thread a well-used path to happiness. It is ok to take the road less travelled. So far you arrive at a happy place, you’ll be good.

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