What happens in your relationship when your partner is too different from you?

Here's what happens in a relationship when you're so different from your partner

Authors:

Ayoola Adetayo

September 9, 2019 5:11 PM

How much difference is considered too much for a relationship to work?

How much difference is considered too much for a relationship to work? [Credit: Peathegee Inc / Getty]

Ain’t nothing wrong with a little difference between two people who intend to get into a relationship. Matter of fact, it is often encouraged as people largely like to say that relationships are not about finding similarities but appreciating differences.

And this is only a manifestation of some unshakable truth - no two people are ever the same, no matter what the similarities are. You can’t expect to end up with a man or woman who thinks exactly like you, talks just like you would, same age as you and basically just exists as a clone of you.

To think of getting someone who is just like you is quite... unreasonable [Credit - Ashley Batz-Bustle] Bustle Digital Group

That’s as impossible as it gets. So it’s pretty much certain that you would be with someone who is different to you in some way. And that’s actually fine… but with a little caveat.

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Different is OK, yes, but to what extent?

Easily, the answer to this has to be that any difference that fundamentally affects your core values, any difference that is irreconcilable with the beliefs, values and way of life you can’t compromise on… such difference is too much and will likely hamper whatever relationship you are trying to build with the other person.

You’ve simply got to pass up on anyone whose biggest life values are at loggerheads with yours.

If your values do not align, a relationship is going to be so difficult [Credit: Dean Mitchell Getty] Pulse Nigeria

And how do you know core values?

Core values are the things that individuals say they are. If someone swears by something and isn’t willing to change or compromise on those things, that can be considered their core value.

And if those things they are unwilling to change do not align with the things you are unwilling to change, going into a relationship with such person is simply a way of courting trouble.