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Wedding Planning 6 things we don't want to see in Nigerian weddings this year

I have attended some really classy weddings, but since I don't exactly roll with the Otedolas or Dangotes of the society, I tend to find myself attending more of the 'regular' weddings (if you know what I mean).

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Newlyweds dancing play

Newlyweds dancing


Nigerian weddings have become very popular in recent years due to the extravagance and lavish spendings involved.

No wonder many many events planners are now scurrying into the wedding planning business to get a share of the booty.

While the rich are known for flaunting their wealth with cartons of champagne and exotic hors d'oeuvres for wedding guests, the average or middle class families also strive impress their own guests too and at the same time keep the party within the means of their pockets.

I have attended some really classy weddings, but since I don't exactly roll with the Otedolas or Dangotes of the society, I tend to find myself attending more of the 'regular' weddings (if you know what I mean).

There are some things that I have noticed in these sort of weddings which I find very distasteful, and I think they need to stop. Since we're still in the early days of 2015, I believe this is the right time to address these issue once and for all.

Below are five things that we shouldn't be seeing anymore in Nigerian weddings this year:

  1. Cubed cakes: Is it just me or does anyone else get really pissed when the couple cuts a six-tier wedding cake and then the caterers pass around a tray filled with tiny cubes of cake? Honestly, I would appreciate a handful of groundnut to this. Is it by force to share cake? As if that is not enough, the most popular wedding favours in this kind of setting is a tiny plate of chin-chin for a table of 10. Like seriously! Are your wedding guests hungry beggars that have to scramble for snacks at your party? Please, this has to stop quickly.

  2. Forcing single ladies to catch the bouquet: One of the fun aspects of the wedding reception is when the bride throws her bouquet, and willing single ladies playfully wrestle for it. Note that I said 'willing single ladies.' I totally detest it when the MC announces that it's time for the single ladies to come out to catch the bouquet, and if they're not satisfied with the number of girls who have stepped out, resort to raining curses on the unwilling ones, or even going as far as insinuating that they are not happy for the bride. You hear things like: 'if you're truly happy for this couple and you want to experience a joyful day like this, come out and catch the bouquet,' or 'if you are ashamed to come out, God will be ashamed to give you a husband,' or 'there are some eligible bachelors here and they are looking for their future wife, if you don't step out, how will they see you and propose to you?' Jeez! I really don't know why some couple allow this sort of insults on their guests. If I don't feel the need to stand up and catch a bouquet, why must you insult me for exercising my human right? Let's stop turning a moment of fun into an avenue to attack innocent people, PLEASE!

  3. Irrelevant souvenirs: Don't you just hate it when some family members of either the bride or groom go about sharing packs of noodles, or matches or even tin tomato! Why?! Souvenirs are meant to be memorable; when you see them in the next one month or one year, they remind you of the occasion where they were given to you. But how are you supposed to remember a pack of noodles after eating the contents? Are you meant to frame the foil and hang it on the wall of your living room? Please, a word of advice to family and friends - if you don't have something tangible and worthy to give your guests, then please don't bother. I'm sure the memory of the tasty meal they ate at the wedding would linger longer than those embarrassing souvenirs. Thank you!

  4. Discriminating against guests not wearing Aso-Ebi: Aso-Ebi (uniform family attire) has become very popular at Nigerian weddings. Gone are the days when this trend was restricted to the Yoruba tribe alone. Now it's a national thing. It is mostly done to ensure uniformity with the wedding colour/theme, and it makes the venue pleasant to look at. However, not everybody is a fan of Aso-Ebi. Some people would buy theirs from the couple's family but not wear them, probably because they don't like the colour or pattern of the fabric, or simply because they want to be unique. Sadly, these 'unique guests' have become victims of discrimination. Most times, you see the waiters skipping them to serve an 'Aso-Ebi guest' at the far back of the hall. Even ordinary table water passes them by! If you ask the waiters why they did not serve these guests, they would promptly tell you that they have been instructed by their superiors not to serve 'Mogbo moya' (uninvited guests) before serving the invited guests. Well, technically it's not their fault. If they don't know these people personally, it may be difficult to tell if they were invited or not. Though I believe a simple 'invited-guests-only' policy should be enforced to prevent this embarrassing situation. Or better still, a family member should be assigned to lead these waiters and help them identify who is who, since the previously mentioned policy may not be effective in Nigerian weddings.

  5. Razz live bands and wack DJs: Live bands have also grown in popularity in recent years. Almost everybody is a musician nowadays. Oh well, it's not really a bad thing to have an affordable live band perform at your wedding, especially if you can't afford a Wizkid or Tiwa Savage. But I think you would be doing your guests a huge of favour if you take time to listen to them rehearse the songs they would be singing at your wedding. Some singers don't even know the name of the people getting married, and they end up mentioning wrong names to horror of the newlyweds. Also, if you must hire a DJ, be sure to give him/her a playlist to follow or else your guests will either dance to Terry G's 'Free Madness', or simply sit down and pray for the song to end quickly.

  6. MC/comedian/head usher: Since some couples cannot afford to pay a professional MC, they solicit the help of a jovial family member to help them out. Unfortunately, they fail to spell out the MC's duties, and because of this, you find such a person acting as the event host and also playing the role of a comedian to entertain wedding guests. As if that is not enough, this same person also involves himself/herself in coordinating waiters and ushers. Suddenly, the MC is all over the place! And when it's time to invite the couple to come out for their first dance, someone from the high table would have to announce this in place of the missing MC/comedian/head usher. Totally confusing. Anything worth doing is worth doing well, biko!

Let's hope these trends will come to a screeching halt as we continue into 2015.

Is there anything else you think should be on this list? Share them with me in the comments box below.

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