Trevor Noah thinks men are looking for intimacy, not sex

American comedian and talk show host, Trevor Noah, talked about what men want in an episode of the show he used to host, The Daily Show.

For most of our lives, we have grown up believing that men love sex a lot and that’s all they want from women, but Trevor brings another perspective to it.

“People often don’t realize how men are experiencing a lack of intimacy and the only place they can get intimacy is through sex. We created a society where men are so scared to be vulnerable with each other, to care for each other, to love each other…”

”That’s where I feel women have done a better job of being there, intimately for each other, not sexually but intimately.”

“I don’t think we understand how in society when men say sex is what they are not getting, they are struggling with a lack of companionship, of the intimacy, of being in a space with a person where they are sharing everything from serotonin to endorphins to what humans need to feel.”

"I hope we can get to a place where guys can go, Oh I actually didn’t need the sex, I needed to be held and I live in a society where it’s hard to be held unless you are having sex and you can’t just walk up to a guy and be like ‘guy hold me’.”

“There are many sex workers who talk about it, and they talk about how men will pay them and said “Can we just talk, can you hold me?’”

Many men are searching for intimacy, but think it’s sex. Sex is just a small part of being truly intimate with someone and because they are scared to experience the vulnerability or commitment of a relationship, they focus on sex.

A balanced relationship has sex and other types of intimacy like shared interests, communication, joint adventures, and similar goals.

Sometimes, true intimacy can be gotten through friendship. Male friendships shouldn’t be all about banter, opening up your emotions and sharing how you feel is an essential part of being human. Not to mention hugs!

This is how men can experience true intimacy and not the kind got from sex.