Vlogger & wrong notions of communication in relationships

At the moment of writing this article, popular OAP and media personality, Toke Makinwa has a viral video about guys and their preferred mode of communication.

The snippet being repeatedly shared on social media platforms shows Toke Makinwa expressing her preference for guys who spend 'money' on calls, as opposed to making Internet calls or just texting women.

Girls like being called instead of being texted all the time, the 'On Becoming' author says, and she seems right on that one. Almost all the women I asked say they prefer that.

What’s not right about that clip, and what obviously upset most people online is how she all but expressly declares that guys that make Whatsapp calls aren’t good enough.

In her opinion, calling shows effort and by not spending money to call your girlfriend or a lady you're interested in, you are lazy and not willing to do the work.

ALSO READ:Twitter user's story raises questions on forgiveness in relationships

Watching the full video on Youtube puts what she says in that snippet in some perspective but it does not change the fact that calls, whether through Whatsapp or any other way, actually shows effort.

The effort might not be good for her, that’s her choice, her opinion; but it does show effort and no one should feel unduly pushed into demanding more just because of what the vlogger said.

Your boyfriend isn’t all that boxed up but he realizes that you prefer calls to being texted and ensures to do that regularly.

Are you going to give him hell and think he’s not serious just because his medium for these calls is Whatsapp? Would you have preferred him not calling at all?

FYI, Whatsapp calls are not free of charge. They expend data which, of course, is bought with money.

If he has data and you have data and the call goes through, the effect is just the same as when you make a phonecall.

Normal voice calls break, too. So the excuse that Internet voice calls break unduly should not even be breathed, abeg.

Besides, are we all going to pretend like it’s only guys that call with Whatsapp?

Have you heard any guy complain yet? That’s because it actually does not matter that much!

So far you and your boo get to communicate in a way that works for both of you, does it matter whether it was on 2go or through SMS?

It brings us to the issue of relationships being for just two people. Just the two people involved in it.

External standards, opinions and ‘societal expectations’ that don’t align with the present reality of your relationship should not be allowed to disturb the peace of it.

ALSO READ:Nearly good guys are not good enough for you

It’s pretty sad that many people have still not learnt this, which is why people still try to impress with social media posts about a relationship that’s already rotting away to its root.

It’s why people still borrow money for society weddings and do other stuff that make them look like the picture people expect to see, instead of what they really are.

Back to communication in relationships: ladies and gentlemen, the idea is to 'communicate.’

Yes, it is great if you can mix it and switch things up once in a while – video calls, Whatsapp calls, voice calls, Telegram, BBM, DM’s etc. But that’s if and when you have the resources to do so and your partner is comfortable with all that.

The idea is just to stay connected and not leave a communication gap in the relationship.

If you already are, then you’re doing great. Just keep it up that way.