This is what you really need to remain friends with your ex

All relationships do not end badly, and all partners do not go their separate ways with hate in their hearts towards each other.

To stay friends with an ex... or not? [Credit - iStock]

The best part of your relationship with someone could actually come after you have broken up with them. A relationship that didn’t quite work does not have to be the last you see or hear of a person. And the number of exes who remain positive and cordial towards each other attests to this.

However, remaining friends with an ex could pose some problems of its own. It’s also a sphere of closeness that comes with its own special rules that you should be aware of.

Got a lot in common? Then stay friends if you want to

According to Erica Gordon, a dating expert and founder of The Babe Report, “[If] you and your ex had a lot in common, enjoyed similar activities (other than sex) and your personalities didn’t clash, a friendship just might work,”

Basically, what this implies is that friendships can continue to thrive where both partners realize that although they make a horrible pairing as lovers, they could actually get along on the strength of their interests and passions.

Don’t hang around if you secretly want them back

“Stay friends if you don’t have an agenda such as ultimately getting them back, or an agenda of keeping tabs on them so that you’re the first to know when they might be interested in someone else,” Gordon explains.

Any [hidden] agenda to crawl back into their heart [orbed] needs to first be snuffed out if you must stay friends with an ex. Things get really complicated when those feelings are left unchecked in one person while the other has actually, really moved on.

“Many relationships actually started as friendships. Perhaps the romantic relationship didn’t work out, but if you started as friends, it might work to go back to being just friends.

“Always take some time apart to get over the lingering romantic attachment, though,” Gordon recommends. “Take as much time as you need.”

Did you get closure or not?

“In order to be friends, it’s also crucial that you no longer feel resentful, hurt or angry toward them,” Gordon says.

Until you have dealt with all the situations and circumstances that led to the breakup, friendship may not be the wisest thing.

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