Looking at happy relationships from outside in, it may be so easy to assume that all that goes on is sunshine, roses, cute talks and endless cute photo sessions. But even the happiest, most peaceful couples will tell you that before the peaceful, smooth and hitchless phase of their relationship, there have been necessary, awkward conversations and tough speeches that needed to be had in order that a perfect understanding might be reached between both partners.
And if your goal is to have a relationship that runs smoothly and is devoid of repeated squabbles, misunderstanding and conflicts, you, too, may have to have these difficult talks at some point of your relationship.
Who gets what? Who settles what? Is the man expected to foot all bills or the woman is going to pitch in too? If so, to what extent?
It’s been said that you should never talk about religion, money, or politics in polite company. When it comes to your relationship, that rule couldn’t be further from the truth and according to American relationship expert, Candice Cooper-Lovett, scheduling an intentional space for conversations about what’s going well and areas of growth and improvement can be helpful for bringing up difficult subjects with your partner.
You are not satisfied with the sex
This is awkward because while your partner needs to realise that they are not doing enough to please you sexually, you do not want them to feel bad.
But no matter how difficult it is to say it, you’ve just got to say it because a failure to do so will only leave you sexually frustrated and that could spill into other aspects of the relationship.
It won’t be so easy to speak of a former life littered with unsavoury things. But it is important to have this conversation with your partner so they know who they are with. Your life at any point is a summation of all of your experiences and without letting your partner in on that history, they may never know how to treat you right, or understand why you do some of the things you do. And, really, that could cause endless arguments that you can just avoid by having a conversation about the past.
A broken upbringing
According to Cora Boyd, a relationship expert in Seattle, USA, “your relationship with your family is hugely formative for how you approach any kind of intimate interpersonal relationship,” she says.
This may be extra important for people whose early years were less than ideal.
Talking about family politics can be complicated, painful, or even embarrassing, but opening up about them helps you both know and care about each other more deeply.