3 phrases to help couples when arguing

oge okonkwo

March 22, 2016 4:11 PM

A gentler approach to fighting fair with your spouse is required to have a successful relationship

Unhappy couple

Arguments arise when couples either misunderstand or take each other for granted. These arguments begin from emotional triggers from important conversations.

Usually, each partner gets defensive with the aim of firing back and this could escalate into a full blown argument or something more. According to Dr. John Gottman author of 'Why Marriages Succeed or Fail', couples often focus on defensiveness, criticism and stonewalling rather than listen to each other’s point of view before responding.

READ: 7 habits that can destroy a loving relationship

A gentler approach to fighting fair with your spouse is required to have a successful relationship. In fighting fair, you may be angry but your choice of words empathizes with your partner’s state of mind.

Inspired by SheKnows, here are 3 phrases to help couples when arguing

1. “Here’s how it seems to me”

Using this approach helps you explain better how you both got to this point of argument rather than pointing out your partner’s wrong doings.

2. “I need”

In this case, couples should describe to each other what they can do to feel better about the problem at hand and think of ways to let the situation go away.

3. “I feel”

Say the way you feel about a situation, and bad it affects you.

Watch video on how to set boundaries in your relationship with others:

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