Side Chicks v Main Chicks: To confront the other woman or not?

With the rise of unfaithfulness, especially among married men, it is now firmly undeniable that way too many women are cool with being sidechicks.

The fault is not solely with these women, of course, because frankly, cheating men know ingenious ways to hide their marital and relationship status from women they are interested in.

So while there is a class of women who actually have no qualms with sleeping with married men and other people's partners, many more find themselves deceived into the relationship by men who did not come clean about their legitimate partners and famlies.

When a woman, whether the wife or girlfriend finds out that her man is cheating on her with some other woman, the betrayal, disdain, disappointment, anger and hate and resentment that builds up in that moment has seen many women go after the other woman - a move that has been condemned in a previous article here One obvious reason why it does not make sense to go after the other woman is that she and you have no business whatsoever.

It is he who promised you commitment that you should go after, not the one who probably has no idea about you. If you will go after the other woman, let it be an afterthought, not your only point of call when you are angry. Your husband/boyfriend deserves more of that dark energy than the other woman.

Shenel is an everyday married woman who has been with her husband for six years, and here is what she has to say in an opinion poll conducted by Jamaican Observer in November 2017:

"Don't engage side chicks. Unless your husband has been kidnapped or held hostage under some magic spell, he has made a conscious decision to disrespect you and his commitment to your relationship.

"Infidelity is a hard reality and can bring out the worst and very raw emotions in us, especially as women who feel deeply. But never lose sight of what it really means in the context of your vows to each other."

ALSO READ:Why married men won't leave their wives for side chicks

Another woman, Tony-Ann married for two years says:

"A husband needs to respect the union and the commitment to the union. If he did not allow this other woman she would not be able to have a 'side chick' status. Clearly there is a communication issue that needs to be addressed first between husband and wife."

And more instructive is this part of her opinion which says: "once that discussion has taken place, then the wife can know if he is worth the work or not."

Frankly, this is the position that we advise when a partner begins to stunt on you. When a boyfriend or husband begins to go out with other women, it is he who deserves your anger.

"However," as Shenel adds to her opinion above, "if the woman on the side becomes directly confrontational or deliberately seeks to provoke the wife, I would not be against putting her in her place by any means necessary."

We see no problem with this either. [Please stay on the right side of the law though!]