It is not uncommon to hear in a society like ours that people want to remain virgins till theyre married.
In other instances some choose to stay celibate with a particular partner till they take their wedding vows.
How, then, do couples escape sexual frustration in these instances if they don't, at least, talk about sex?
Refusing to discuss sex with your partner results in an absolute lack of sexual familiarity by the time couples get married.
This is not entirely a bad thing, as couples are expected to grow together in every sense of the word - financially, age-wise, spiritually, etc.
But what if one of the partners has an idea of sex, an expectation that the other sees as absurd and would totally never agree to?
What if the libido of one of them is far, far higher than the other's, and they can't even keep up with the sexual demand being placed on them? (which, as a matter of fact, you have to meet as a matter of necessity.)
The importance of pre-marital sex counselling here becomes a lot more glaring, right?
Here are the top three reasons why you might need to have sex counselling sessions before you jump into marriage with anyone.
1. You have an idea of what to expect
Many people, especially those who never engaged in premarital sex, might find some shockers once they marry.
What if the husband's thing looks too scary to take, and what if he has a thing for anal sex, when the wife can not even imagine the act for the life of her?
What happens when one of the couple likes to use sex toys, watch porn, and get/give oral sex, when the other completely detests all these?
Can you imagine not knowing and actually settling all these things before going on to marry someone?
The potential chaos!
2. No awkwardness
Once you and your partner get a number of sessions where you discuss your sexual preferences and things you would rather not do, you create a foundation upon which to build a fiery sexual connection even before the marriage document is signed.
You might not have actually done the sexual acts, but at least you could reach a sensible compromise, know what to expect, and prepare for it.
Afterall, sex is very mental as much as physical.
3. Reduces third party intervention
When problems emanate in the bedroom, its presence is felt in every other room in the house.
When you refuse to get counselling sessions, or actually discuss these sexual issues thoroughly before marriage, you give room for problems that might dog your marriage and require the presence of your pastor, parents, friends, etc.
Why not do it before marriage since you might be forced to embarrassingly do it later?
4. Slashes the chances of early divorce
When you try to settle your sexual preferences after you're already married, and you discover that your partner's needs are things you can never get yourself to accept, the next thing might be to divorce due to 'irreconciliable differences.'
Now imagine if you had that same conversation pre-marriage. Walking out at that stage will not count as a divorce, will it?
In conclusion, it needs to be mentioned here that in the instance where partners can extensively have private discussions on these matters and reach satisfactory compromises, there might be a need to do away with a counsellor.
The bottom line is for there to be full disclosure and understanding between the both of them.