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Relationships and Commitment 7 questions to ask before moving in with that partner

You both seem inseparable and totally in love now, but do you think moving in with that guy is the best idea?

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Moving in with a partner is not the same thing as being married, but it's pretty close.

ALSO READ: Celebrating the Michelle and Barack Obama’s 24 years of marriage with 24 pictures

Hence, just as you would consider every step wisely before marrying someone, you might want to ask yourself the following questions to be sure you are really ready to take this great leap.

Push emotion to the side, put on your objective hat and see how many of the following you can honestly say 'yes' to. If you can't tick off at least seven, your relationship could be doomed.

play Better be sure he sees a future with you in it (Julietthesun)

 

How's his reaction to it?

If he is dragging his feet and is on the fence about moving in together, this is a bad sign. Don’t even bother forcing it.

Have you met each other’s parents?

If you haven’t met his parents, siblings or closest friends yet, you need to think twice before moving in.

Is he serious about the relationship?

Living together is sometimes a precursor for either getting engaged or married. Moving in with him might be more of a ‘test’ on how you’ll be when you eventually marry, if you get to.

Hence you need to be sure your partner is at least 60% serious about the future before jumping in [literally.]

play If he looks unsure, don't force the move. Do not. (Naijaonpoint)

 

Can you afford a place of your own?

The idea of moving in with someone you are in love with is not necessarily limited to being able to afford a place of your own or not. But you want to be sure you won’t be left homeless if things go sour.

Hence, if you cannot afford a place just yet, keep in mind that you need to save enough to get a new place or secure a plan B in case something unexpected happens [Yeah, like him chasing you out in the middle of the night after a nasty fight.]

Do you respect him enough?

Love may come and go, but if you respect your partner, you’ll have a partner for life.

If you have a relationship where there’s common respect, you’ll know you can bank on each other for help and understanding in the long term.

play Staying together might be a precursor to your married life (Jiji)

 

Will you be able to keep your  life?

What shape will your life take after the movement?’

You might want to seek reassurances on whether you will still be able to do several of the things you used to do when you lived alone, or if your lives will become so tightly woven that you will no longer ‘have a life’.

How would I want to see my life in five years’ time?

It’s common for people to focus of immediate needs, instead of concentrating on the goals they're working towards.

If you see yourself with the same person, go ahead by all means and move in together, but if you actually have no idea of where your life is headed in even 2 years from this moment, you might want to reconsider that move because eventually, your life might take a significantly different route from the one

What do you think of partners living together before marriage?»

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