Dear Bukky,

I'm a divorcee with a boy (16) and a girl(12) and still unmarried from November 2005.

Recently I got hooked up with a girl I was so close to at my previous work who now stays in our neighborhood. As we caught up, we ended up reengaging and showed great love for each other.

We seemed to rightly click with each other but one day and without any cause she said we couldn't continue the relationship and gave no reasons at all.

At first I thought it was a joke until I discovered she was very serious she wanted out. I got so pained because I was planning to pay her a visit to solidify this our love and she knew about my plan to visit her.

She says I can still visit her there but also that her mind is made up that we should break up.

Please help me how should I handle this case I really love this girl and was hoping to make her the last girl I would ask out in my life I want to spend the rest of my life with her please help is it worth it?_____________

Dear reader,

Is it worth the effort? Absolutely. If she’s what you really want, of course she’s worth the effort.

You cannot give up on the chance to get her just like that. Accept her invitation. Go visit her and try again to convince her.

If she stands her ground and refuses to budge, then ask as gently as possible for her reasons for choosing to back out. It could be because she has fears about one thing or another.

By expressing those fears and worries to you, you can assess the situation to see if the fear is valid or not.

If she’s scared, for example, because of the age difference between you or because she feels your kids will a problem, you need to calm her and tell her that that won’t be a problem.

But mind you, you need to mean what you say and be willing to go through with an intent to keep your word to her.

If her worries are valid and they’re things you can neither promise nor live up to, please let her go in peace. You’d have had your closure anyway and that should be good for you._____________Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

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