Dear Bukky,

I have a man and we've been together for three years. Last year we were blessed with a baby boy.

I don't feel so secure in the relationship anymore like before. Some time back he placed passwords all over his phone. I found nudes which he deleted so quickly. Of late, he criticizes me a lot but jokingly though I don't like it.

I force him to communicate. Lastly, yesterday I noted a new photo of his all changed and dressed up and he had not told me about it.

I’m at home with my mum apparently. He doesn't seem to miss me that much. And also he defends cheating so much and he told me it’s difficult not to cheat but he tries not to give in to pressure.________________

Dear reader,

There isn’t much you can do about this than to be a little more patient, keep communicating and hope for a positive turn around.

Sincerely, it hurts that there isn’t much you can do, but that’s the truth. If he defends cheating so much, has begun to revamp his looks while you are away from home, and he’s not showing signs of nostalgia or longing for your return, I totally understand where your worry that he may be cheating already is coming from.

The other option would be to dump him and move on if it’s truly confirmed that he’s been cheating on you. But if you intend to try to make this work for some time longer, there is a chance that you can make it happen.

Couple’s counselling is an option, an introspection is also needed. If he’s seeking sexual satisfaction out there, could it be because he’s not getting any from home?

If all of the things that should make a reasonable man happy is made available for him and he still does what he does, then you can be sure that you did your best but he was just a lost cause. Then you can do as you please if there aren’t changes in the nearest future.

I hope you find longlasting happiness in the choices you make.___________

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