Relationship Talk With Bukky: My husband slept with me and the maid on the same night!

Dear Bukky,

I have just recently found out that my husband was cheating on me with the house help. This was a shocking betrayal and I am finding it so hard to forgive him.

More so we have not been having regular sex for 4 months now and he claims the anti hypertension drugs he is taking is affecting erection.

What baffles me is how he was able to then get an erection and sleep with the house girl same day I made love to him. He tells me the girl used jazz and always wore seductive cloths when I am not around.

Please explain to me what could have gone wrong as this is still a shock to me and how best to get back my relationship. It’s really difficult to heal despite his repeated pleadings.

He sent the girl away and since then she has called me twice to rain abuses on me.

Anxiously waiting for your reply._______________

Dear reader,

How do choose to go about this? This is a necessary question because I think staying in the marriage and trying to fix it is a good option. Deciding to get out of it, too, sounds like a good option to me.

Since the issue is yours, I think it would make sense to leave you to decide which one you would rather do,

Having said that, I think if you decide to stay, you should know that getting to trust him again will likely be a chore. One you may need a lot of time for. You will also likely never forget this incident. And the fact that the help keeps reaching out to wreak more havoc won’t help matters.

I also think you need a lot of conversations with your man should you choose to stay. Chiefly because it is with him you took wedding vows, and it is he who promised to be faithful to you.

Ask questions. Ask what he wants, why he did it, what was he not getting from you? Chances are that he won’t be able to answer these questions satisfactorily but it is still important to ask nonetheless.

Why? Because if you are going to continue being in that marriage, you would need that information. I mean, if you are going to do it, you might as well do it right. The information provided now could help your relationship with him heal quicker than it normally would.

I also think if you can afford one, consult a marriage therapist or relationship counsellor.______________

Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family issues?

Do you have burning questions that you would love to get answers to?

Just send a mail to relationships@pulse.ng and I'll provide the most honest answers to them anonymously.

Note; the chances of getting a quick response reduces if the text in your email has a lot of abbreviations. So, please write as properly as possible.

So, why not send that mail today and let's talk about it?

A problem shared is a problem half-solved!