Dear Bukky,

I’m a 24 year old woman in a relationship with a 27 year old man. 

We had our first child in 2011. He started cheating in 2013. When I found out, he said he would stop dating that girl and he blamed me for not respecting him, and said it's the reason why he did it.

He never stopped until I left him because I couldn't stand for it anymore. In 2016, we got back together as he promised he will never do anything like that anymore because he's a grown up and now understands things that destroys relationships. I forgave him and he made things right.

From there I've found him cheating on me more than 5 times from 2016 to 2018 and now it’s worse because he even introduced the girl to me.

When I wanted to leave him, he said he'd leave the girl. I'm not too sure whether they are still together or not but I'm hurt.

I'm not sure whether I must get into this marriage with someone I don't trust. He also blamed me this time that I don't respect him. But he also said he can't let me go.

When I want to leave him, he apologises and says he’ll stop doing these things._______________

Dear reader,

I think the handwriting is clear on the wall. The chances of this man changing his cheating ways don’t look encouraging. If he has shown over and over again that all his promises of doing right by you ends the moment the words leave his mouth, you should know better than to treat any of his promises with any seriousness.

I also need to point out to you that regardless of what he says, cheating on you is not your fault in any way. That he feels disrespected is not an excuse to repeatedly cheat on you.

If anything, he’s the one that’s been disrespecting you constantly making promises to you he can’t keep, and also by trying to hold you down without any commitment on his part. If you decide to not marry this man, I don’t think you’d be unjustified._______________

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